Hi, my name is Dana Carvey.

And I feel masculine about being Conan O'Brien's friend.

Fall is near, here and now, back to school. Ring the bell, bend your shoes, walk in the leaves, climb the fence, books and pens.

I can tell that we are going to be friends. I can tell that we are going to be friends.

Hey, welcome to Conan O'Brien, needs a friend. This is the show where basically I use the podcast format to become friends with people.

See if I can get more friends. I don't have a lot. A lot of my friends are people that actually work for me, which makes me suspicious.

I think if I stop paying them, they might go away. So I basically talk to people who I might already be friends with, or people sometimes I don't really know, but I like them.

And maybe they will become my friend. So that's the idea. It's pretty simple. And I do this with my trusty assistant, Sonamov Sessian.

Hi, Conan. Do you think it's working? Do you think I'm getting some good friends with this podcast?

What's the matter with you? I don't know how to answer that.

Are you choking on something?

I'm just saying I haven't entered anything new in your calendar in terms of hangs with new friends.

So that's not even a joke. You have not. This has been a very successful podcast. And I have interviewed a lot of people.

And I think it's gone really well. And you know what? Not one dinner date or a lunch date has resulted so far.

No, hang session.

No hang session.

Hang session.

Oh, hang, no hanging out session.

Yeah.

I like it when you don't millennialize your terms with me. Just say no hang out sessions yet.

Maybe you could just learn how to understand.

I don't know why you still work for me. I would theoretically have control over that.

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