So I was walking my fucking dog. Yeah, I love him so much. And then I came back

from walking my dog and I got the mail on my way back up to the apartment. And I was like

fucking around, press the elevator button, where I love to run into the elevator as soon as it opened.

So he ran into the elevator as soon as it opened. And I was like, okay, and then I started to go

into the elevator, I dropped on my fucking mail on the ground. Damn it. But my dog's in the elevator.

It's about to go up. I'm like, oh, fucking my dog's gonna like get choked to death because I have

great fears. A lot of anxiety. And so I rushed to grab the mail off the fucking ground. And I'm like

trying, I literally like straight up infomercial. I'm dropping a piece of crap and I'm dropping a piece.

And then because I'm wearing a mask, because it's a fucking pandemic. And I'm not a psychopath.

But when you have a mask on and you've got your glasses on it, like creates a little slippery

situation on your little ears, you know, and then this lip side all around it. I was bending over

picking up the fucking mail into my glasses. And I'm like, can I don't want to talk here right now?

Happy birthday, by the way. And I don't slip on it. I feel I'm going down my nose. I'm like,

God damn it. I'm like ready to push my fucking glasses back up. But then they fall all the way off.

Right. And it's like when your glasses are starting to fall off, like you know, you have that

thing where it's like, they're falling off. Is it worth getting them? I'm already bent over.

Literally. What's the worst that could happen if they just fall off?

But you were leaning over an elevator shaft? No, no, no. I was like leaning over outside of the

elevator. They fell onto the ground. And then the elevator is like about to fucking close.

And I'm like, God damn my glasses are on the ground. Half the fucking mails on the ground still.

And like my dog is in the elevator. It's going to close on his leash and then it's going to go up

and he's going to die. Yeah. And I was so fucking scared. And so I rush to get in front of the

...