DAILY SHOW: Match Up With Morons On Arbor Day | Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 24 April 2026
⏱️ 163 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Rafe kicks things off with a story that starts innocent enough: taking his 20-year-old dog Beau outside. Sweet, peaceful, wholesome… until his neighbor’s German Shepherd decides it’s time to audition for the NFL and absolutely levels Beau like it’s fourth-and-goal. What follows is a mix of panic, frustration, and one of those “I really don’t want to fight my neighbor but also WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE” conversations. It’s relatable, it’s tense, and somehow still hilarious because this is a comedy podcast and we cope with humor.
From there, the show spirals (as it should) into pet ownership debates, whether you should take your dog literally everywhere, and the wild concept of cruise ships that allow pets onboard. Yes, your dog could soon have a better vacation life than you.
It all kicks off with what the crew thinks is a simple idea: sneak the phrase “Merry Christmas, Rizz” into conversations and see how long it takes for Rizz to notice. Innocent enough, right? Wrong. Within minutes, it evolves into a full-blown social experiment involving callers, commitment to the bit, and just enough subtlety to make Rizz question his own reality. It’s not just a prank—it’s psychological warfare with holiday spirit.
But because this is The Rizzuto Show, the rails don’t just come off—they’re launched into orbit.
Somewhere along the way, the conversation detours into one of the most absurd celebrity-adjacent stories you’ll ever hear, involving Mario Lopez and a situation that leaves everyone wondering how you even recover from that mentally… or in a hotel room ever again. From there, it’s a rapid-fire descent into “Crap on Celebrities,” covering everything from MGK stirring up drama (again) to Korn dropping new music, to debates about whether explaining a joke automatically ruins it (spoiler: yes, it does).
We kick things off with what should be easy: Earth Day. Simple, right? Nope. From there, it only spirals. A basic bowling term turns into a full existential crisis, Olympic history gets rewritten in real time, and somehow both contestants confidently miss a major James Bond music question like it personally offended them.
But here’s the twist—despite all logic, missed answers, and questionable reasoning, this turns into an actual competition. Like… close. Suspiciously close. We’re talking tie-game, down-to-the-wire, “how did we get here?” levels of tension. And just when you think it can’t get any more ridiculous, it all comes down to a tiebreaker involving Olympic medal counts… which, let’s be honest, nobody knows.
So buckle up for a round of Matchup with Morons. Lern vs King Scott and it delivers exactly what you expect… and somehow still surprises you.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Riz here for Dobbs Tire and Auto Centers. Listen, Dobbs has been St. Louis proud since 1976. |
| 0:05.6 | They know all about the potholes, the constant construction, and what the debris on the road can do to our cars and our tires. |
| 0:12.9 | Dobbs keeps us rolling with the best new tire prices in town guaranteed. |
| 0:17.4 | And they've got locations all over the place, staffed with expert techs who take care of all your vehicles, no matter what you drive, hybrids, EVs, everything. And with the most locations around, including new stores in Oakville, Overland and Waterloo, full service, tire and auto service has never been more convenient. And here's something you can't get at just any auto shop. They're fixed forever warranty guarantees to parts and labor on their auto services for as long as you own the car. |
| 0:41.3 | Dobbs Digital Vehicle Inspections send real photos, videos, and explanations from ASC certified techs right to your phone |
| 0:48.0 | so you could see what they see and make informed decisions for your vehicle. |
| 0:52.1 | Schedule your service online 247 at go to dobs-dobs.com. That's go-to-dobs.com. All right, St. Louis, Real Talk. After those storms last year, my roof was a disaster, and I didn't want the headache. So I called the Happy Roof Company, and I couldn't be happier. Because, yeah, a roof job is loud, it's chaotic, and they were on it. |
| 1:11.1 | They didn't just drop off a crew and disappear. |
| 1:13.3 | Communication was tight the whole way. |
| 1:15.7 | And the biggest thing, they helped me handle all the insurance company stuff. |
| 1:19.7 | That alone saved me a ton of time and a ton of frustration. |
| 1:23.5 | Now the roof looks gorgeous, clean lines, solid workmanship, high-end materials. |
| 1:28.3 | It looks like it belongs on the house, not some patch and prey repair. |
| 1:33.1 | And they back shingle roofs with a 10-year labor warranty. |
| 1:36.4 | If you've got storm damage, leaks, or an older roof, make Happy Roof Company your first call. |
| 1:42.7 | Tell them you heard about it on the race show. |
| 1:44.5 | Go to the happyroof.com, The Happyroof.com, or call 314-665-301. |
| 1:52.5 | That's 314-665-301, The Happy Roof Co. |
| 1:57.9 | Because who doesn't want a happy ending? |
| 2:00.4 | The smartest way to do your homework is Hackman Lumber. |
| 2:07.0 | For 80 years, Hackman Lumber has been the trusted name for home improvement. |
| 2:11.5 | Building a new deck? Start with the deck experts at Hackman Lumber, ready with the best |
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