DAILY SHOW: He Needs A Jitterbug Guitar! | Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast
The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast | 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio | Gamut Podcast Network
4.9 • 3.2K Ratings
🗓️ 31 March 2026
⏱️ 159 minutes
🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Rizz is out living his best New York life, so naturally the show immediately spirals—in a fun, “we promise this is still a professional daily comedy show” kind of way. Moon, Rafe, King Scott, and guest chaos-agent Tina D. Ball take over and deliver a beautifully unhinged episode packed with Internet debates, improv games, celebrity news, and at least one philosophical breakdown that absolutely started as a dumb question and somehow got way too deep.
We kick things off with Tina’s return and a discussion about the Internet—specifically whether it’s making us better people or just more anxious versions of ourselves. (Spoiler: both.) That somehow leads into conspiracy rabbit holes, social media detoxes, and the realization that maybe scrolling less and texting actual humans is the real life hack.
Then comes the segment that broke everyone’s brain: a “would you rather” scenario involving cutting your bed into a letter shape… but losing all foods that start with that letter. What begins as a dumb toilet-thought question turns into a full-blown strategic crisis involving noodles, zucchini, ice cream, and whether anyone is emotionally strong enough to give up watermelon. The show debates sleep positioning, relationship logistics, and food sacrifices like it’s a life-or-death decision—because apparently it is.
Speaking of chaos, the crew dives into more “would you rather” questions, including reliving high school (hard pass for most), going viral for something embarrassing (also a hard pass… unless you can monetize it), and whether being funny or respected matters more. Shockingly, everyone chooses funny—because if you’re gonna spiral, at least be entertaining while doing it.
On the pop culture side, “Crap on Celebrities” delivers everything from aging rock legends to legal drama. The Rolling Stones might be slowing down thanks to Keith Richards’ arthritis (a.k.a. the most rock-and-roll way to say “my fingers don’t work like they used to”), while Celine Dion is gearing up for an emotional comeback after her health battle—proving once again she is, in fact, built different. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift is dealing with a trademark lawsuit because apparently even global superstars can’t escape paperwork drama.
There’s also a bizarre-but-fascinating moment involving LeAnn Rimes and a “jaw release” procedure that somehow turns into an emotional breakdown mid-session. Equal parts therapy and horror movie.
And because no episode is complete without competition, the crew dives into March Movie Mayhem—debating iconic 90s films like it’s the Super Bowl of nostalgia. Friendships are tested, opinions are judged, and someone definitely gets called old.
The episode wraps with the “Mind Meld” game, where listeners bet on whether two people can say the same word at the same time. Sometimes it works instantly (which feels suspicious), and sometimes it derails into absolute nonsense involving fruit snacks, gummies, and the slow realization that human brains are not nearly as connected as we’d like to believe.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The Rizzuto Show podcast, powered by Dobbs. |
| 0:17.1 | Dobbs, tire, and auto centers are hiring. |
| 0:19.0 | Now with 42 stores. |
| 0:20.6 | Apply it, go to dobs.com today. |
| 0:23.0 | All right, let's hit it. |
| 0:25.6 | Little listener discretion is advised. |
| 0:30.4 | Rizzuto. |
| 0:31.6 | Rizuto. |
| 0:32.7 | Rurudo? |
| 0:33.3 | Rurudo. |
| 0:40.3 | Hey! Hey Hey |
| 0:41.3 | Hey |
| 0:42.3 | Oh welcome. |
| 0:45.3 | Good morning, Tuesday morning on the Rizuto show. |
| 0:48.3 | And just before I cracked the mics, I screamed. |
| 0:53.3 | Just to remind, Tina, Tina who's here with us today, no cursing on this year program. No cursing. He said, I'll take a note. I put a note. There you go. Check the video. No cursing. There will not be any bad words for me. I'm making ass to yourself. Tina D-Ball in studio today. Welcome, welcome, welcome. |
| 1:12.8 | Hi, boys. Great to see all of you, beautiful babies. |
| 1:16.7 | Good to see you as well. Hello, darling. |
| 1:18.6 | Hi, honey. My king's above 18. |
| 1:21.1 | I haven't seen you before. Yeah, what does that mean? |
| 1:24.8 | What does that mean? I mean, it sounds creepy. |
| 1:27.4 | It is creepy, but I'm not saying it in a creepy way. Oh, okay. Please explain? Yeah, I don't, I do. There was a video of a weird TikTok guy who was like, good morning, my queen's above 18. Oh, I see. Deep cut, deep reference. Yeah, it's very deep. Internet reference. Internet meme reference. Great to see you guys. Jim Z, we got you covered today. Yes, if there's any kids listening right now, you are responsible. It is early. Let's rock. Do you feel like you kind of live on the internet a little bit? I feel like you, um, there's probably a short list of people |
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