CZM Rewind: How The Zizians Went Full On Death Cult & The Zizian Murder Spree (or Exactly How Harry Potter Fanfic Killed A Border Patrol Agent)

Behind the Bastards

Cool Zone Media and iHeartPodcasts

Society & Culture, News, History

4.4 • 15.7K Ratings

🗓️ 1 January 2026

⏱️ 146 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Part Three: Robert tells David about Ziz's glorious plan to take to the sea and sever the right and left brains of her followers in order to make them psychopaths god that sentence was weird to write trust us the episode is weirder.

Part Four: Robert concludes the story of the Zizians with a spree of horrific violent crimes and deaths, culminating in a shoot out with the Border Patrol in Vermont of all places.

Sources:

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is an I-Heart podcast.
0:02.6	Guaranteed Human.
0:06.0	Cool Zone Media.
0:08.1	Welcome to Behind the Bastards, a podcast where I, Robert Evans, am going to war, like a one man, like Rambo, like one of the later Rambo movies, not the first one that was actually about the cost of PTSD and Imperial War, but like the later ones where he's a one-man army. I'm doing that, and I'm doing it against Microsoft because I fucking hate co-pilot. With me to talk about how much we hate Microsoft co-pilot, my producer, Sophie Lichten, and our wonderful guest, David Boree. David, how do you feel about Microsoft co-pilot? Ah, Rambo 3, let's go. Okay, okay, okay. Let's kill a ton of brown people. Well, no, I mean, in this one, we're just, it's just like Microsoft co-pilots we're killing. Okay. All of them. They're not really people.
0:55.4	It's so bad.
0:56.5	Outlook is terrible.
0:58.9	Microsoft has really gone far off of making a lot of products that people hate to use.
1:04.7	Speaking of products, people hate to use.
1:08.0	David said before we started recording that he was excited to hear this
1:12.6	story. I just want you to know where we're starting on this story is page 21 of the script.
1:18.8	And where we end the script is page 49. Whoa. I made, I made a mistake in doing this.
1:30.1	I'm going to admit that right now.
1:33.8	Before we get further, I'm going to say I aired in this.
1:39.1	And it's, you know, I've made peace with the inevitability of fucking stuff up,
1:42.0	especially when like every week you're doing a different chunk of history and we're veering from like, we're about fucking 17th and 18th century France and then like now we're talking about like a fucking
1:49.3	guy who did a genocide and Darfur or whatever right like you're going to these are all important
1:54.2	topics but like you simply can't every single week cover the breadth of stuff that we do and not
1:59.6	you're going to misspeak you're
2:00.8	going to make errors and stuff and when it when it comes to like i'm talking about hitler i'm talking
2:05.1	about like not obviously those are important but you know if i if i fuck up some fact about like
2:10.6	early 1900s germany i'm not going to be like too bent out of shape because it's like you know
2:16.4	there's there's no perfection in this.
	...

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