CSI: Bedford
TRASHFUTURE
TRASHFUTURE
4.7 • 935 Ratings
🗓️ 5 August 2025
⏱️ 60 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and welcome to Trash Future. |
| 0:18.0 | If you're in the United Kingdom, then due to the Online Safety Act, |
| 0:21.4 | unfortunately, we will have to ask you to verify your age. It's simple to verify your age. |
| 0:26.2 | You simply have to go to a paypoint at an off license and attempt to buy a handle of Glenn's |
| 0:30.7 | vodka and the last dirty magazine, at which point take a picture of yourself with the cashier |
| 0:36.1 | and upload that to our very simple, |
| 0:39.2 | easy to use app, which we will definitely not store an unencrypted Amazon S3 bucket. |
| 0:44.6 | I'm in the folder full of our own listeners' photos of themselves with their mouths open, |
| 0:49.3 | with their shoes on their heads holding up, like their credit cards in front of the camera. |
| 0:53.9 | I got to say, some of these are really good. I think that more of our listeners to listen to the show should have to cut themselves in half and then show us a picture of the rings. I think that, like, the verification, we should do, like, a sort of, like, facial recognition thing. But for some reason, like, because we've sort of, like, half-assed it, it doesn't work if you just take a picture of your face, as is you have to be doing like the Arhe-Gal face. I mean, the thing is, the British government is so fucking needy, right? Like, not only, like, send me a pick, send me another pick, send me one from this angle, one with your mouth open, one with your panties pulled to the side. And I'm just like, can you fucking freaks, leave me alone, please? |
| 1:32.6 | I'm so excited for how this inevitably, like, not necessarily ends, but like the inevitable |
| 1:37.2 | story in a couple of years, which is that the people who did do the facial recognitions |
| 1:41.5 | so that they could access Pornhub without like a VPN are all like fucking MPs. Yeah. That's going to leak. Yeah, it's going to leak. But also like all their weird porn habits are going to leak because you know like porn hub do that like report every year, which like I'm not entirely sure is real. I do think a lot of it is bits. During the Spotify, This Is You for the year on Porn Hub and that all gets leaks. |
| 2:03.6 | On Spotify, it's called This Is You? On Porn Hub is called, Is This You? |
| 2:07.9 | Weirdly, it's like unwrapped in both senses. |
| 2:11.6 | Yeah. I'm excited to find out in like a year's time what Kirstama has been jerking it to. |
| 2:16.8 | Not sure why there's so many |
| 2:18.0 | Ukrainian twinks, not sure why it's all kind of based around arson. I'm not sure how that |
| 2:23.1 | particular kink plays into it, but like, sure, whatever. Older Sugar Daddy buys middle-aged |
| 2:30.6 | otter clothes? There's this great new category of BDSM that's all about getting outed in the |
| 2:37.9 | national press as an arsonist. |
| 2:40.1 | And it's like you and three of your friends can do it. |
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