Crockpot Salmonella Soup, White People Still Can't Cook (with Dulce Sloan)
My Momma Told Me
Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 10 February 2026
⏱️ 79 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
The hilarious Dulce Sloan returns to the pod and brings the boiling, flavorless conspiracy theory that white people can't cook. That crockpot lifestyle is just begging for salmonella soup. Langston and David exalt the brilliance of mathematician Terrance Howard, clown Dulce for trying to pick up a guy in the hallway, and one brave caller asks the question we've all been asking, "What color was Michael Jackson's penis?"
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:02.5 | Guaranteed Human. |
| 0:04.4 | Stop everything. |
| 0:05.8 | Put that shit down. |
| 0:07.7 | Stop making love to your significant others. |
| 0:10.2 | We're talking. |
| 0:11.7 | Get your penis out of your wife. |
| 0:13.4 | And get that pussy out of your sidepiece. |
| 0:17.2 | Yeah, out of it. |
| 0:18.5 | In fear. |
| 0:20.0 | I've never had sex before. |
| 0:23.6 | We have big news. |
| 0:25.1 | Big, huge news. |
| 0:26.2 | Unbelievable news. |
| 0:27.7 | For all of you who want to see us get filthy rich. |
| 0:30.8 | We are offering up a new opportunity. |
| 0:35.3 | A bag of beans, if you will, that we're hopeful you believe is going to grow into a giant bean stalk. |
| 0:42.4 | Yeah. |
| 0:42.9 | Magical beans. |
| 0:44.4 | And those magical beans are the My Mama told me Patreon. |
| 0:49.8 | I actually am 1.4% Nigerian African. |
| 0:53.8 | I'm a sister. |
... |
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