Creating a Secure Relationship with Elizabeth Earnshaw

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 15 November 2021

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all want a relationship that's more than just functional, we want one that's truly fulfilling. On today's episode Forrest is joined by a wonderful therapist and author who focuses on giving people the tools they need to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with other people: Elizabeth Earnshaw. They explore: How the pandemic impacted our relationships The Gottman approach The stages of a relationship Balancing differing needs for intimacy How to request, and give, repair. They then close the episode with a fun game focused on debunking common relationship myths. About our Guest: Elizabeth is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, the founder of A Better Life Therapy, and the author of I Want This to Work. You might also know her as @lizlistens on Instagram, where she’s helped countless people transform their relationships. From Dr. Hanson: The Foundations of Well-Being brings together the lessons of a lifetime of practice into one year-long online program. Our holiday sale is going on now, and podcast listeners can use the code BEINGWELL25 for another 25% off! Please don't hesitate to apply for a scholarship if you're in need. Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction. 1:45: Elizabeth’s background. 5:30: How did the pandemic impact relationships? 7:30: Responding to stress in relationships. 9:00: Co-regulation. 11:15: Punishing others for our unpleasant emotions. 13:45: The four stages of relationships. 17:50: What to look for in a partner. 20:10: The “Four Horsemen” of bad relationship communication. 24:25: Key skills for navigating conflict together. 27:00: How to request repair from your partner. 34:10: Deciding if you should leave. 37:45: Interdependence. 41:30: Balancing differing needs for intimacy. 46:30: The Instagram Meme Game: Common misconceptions about relationships. 47:30: “Partners should share everything with each other.” 50:30: “Your partner should be your ride or die.” 52:15: “Never go to bed angry.” 54:50: “My partner is my missing piece.” 56:35: “If you can’t handle me on my worst day, you don’t deserve me on my best day.” 1:02:05: Recap. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors: From Boston Globe Media comes a new podcast, TURNING POINTS, a show about navigating mental health. Listen on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Find the new CBD+ performance gummies and the whole dosist health line-up today at dosisthealth.com. Use promo code BEINGWELL20 for 20% off your purchase. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Want to sleep better? Try the legendary Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to Being Well, I'm Forest Hanson.
0:10.4	If you're new to the podcast, this is where we explore the practical science of lasting
0:14.8	well-being.
0:15.8	And if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:18.1	On today's episode, we're focusing on continuing to improve our relationships.
0:22.8	The way we do relationships has changed a lot during my lifetime alone.
0:27.3	People are getting married later.
0:29.0	They're less likely to have children, much to the chagrin of both of my parents.
0:33.5	And we're generally more focused on getting our psychological and emotional needs met.
0:38.0	But it's simply, we're looking for relationships that are fulfilling rather than just functional.
0:42.9	I'm joined by a wonderful therapist and author today who focuses on giving people the tools
0:47.4	they need to communicate, navigate heart times, and create deeper connections with other
0:52.5	people, Elizabeth Ornshaw.
0:55.0	This is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the founder of a better life therapy, and
0:59.4	the author of I Want This to Work, an inclusive guide to navigating the most difficult relationship
1:04.6	issues we face in the modern age.
1:07.0	You might also know her as Liz listens on Instagram where she's helped countless people
1:11.5	transform their relationships.
1:14.0	Before we get into my conversation with Liz, a couple of quick reminders.
1:17.3	If you've been enjoying the show, please subscribe to us through the platform of your choice
1:21.1	and hey, maybe even leave a rating and a positive review.
1:24.7	It really does help us out.
	...

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