Creating A Positive Cycle

Relationship Advice

Colter Bloxom

Relationships, Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 15 October 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the story I’m telling myself…” to the game-changing “help me help you help me” skill, this episode shows how simple awareness and repair can turn everyday tension into deeper connection. Main Talking Points: Awareness of triggers & old cycles Naming stories with curiosity Accountability vs. defensiveness Intentional “deposits” of connection Repair through validation & empathy “Help me help you help me” negotiation Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar. Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:48.6	Okay. Hello, friends. Welcome to Relationship Advice. My name is Colter Bloxham. I'm a licensed professional counselor. And this show is hosted by three therapists, myself, Lauren Mo Carrie and Kayla Bozovich, where we are
0:56.6	all about all things relationship.
0:59.1	And we believe that the first step in connecting well with others is connecting well with
1:04.0	yourself.
1:04.6	You cannot be closer to somebody else than you can be to yourself.
1:08.6	So this podcast, we dive deep on our romantic relationships,
1:12.6	dating, marriage, friendships, co-worker friendships, family, parenting, so much more.
1:20.4	And today's episode is all about what we call creating your positive cycle. If you've been a
1:25.9	long-time listener of the show, you have
1:28.5	probably heard us talk about a couple cycles before. It's that same fight that we get into
1:33.2	over and over and over again. I bet if I could sit down with you and your partner, we would
1:38.0	identify that we have the same sort of three to five fights over and over again. We just have
1:43.7	them in different ways.
1:45.1	We call that our negative cycle. And we talk about how to get out of our negative cycle, but what
1:50.5	about creating a positive cycle? What about stopping it before it happens and making deposits
1:56.1	into our partner's love bank to create a positive cycle. So I really loved this conversation today.
2:03.9	Kail and Lauren, they really brought a wealth of knowledge. So I hope you enjoy. And let's dive
2:10.0	into today's vignette. Andrea and Marcus know the pattern by heart. She brings something up.
2:17.1	He pulls away and before long,
	...

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