You're listening to Comedy Central.

I don't care who you are, guys.

This story is insane.

Everyone, from Trump's campaign manager to Trump's press secretary,

to Trump's friends, have been infected with coronavirus now.

It's almost like the Rites of 2020 didn't know how to wrap the story up,

so they were just like,

ah, and then they all get coronavirus the end.

And look, I know some people are saying that this was karma catching up to Trump,

but guys, a massive outbreak at the White House is not karma.

It's consequences, all right?

It's not karma to get hit by lightning when you're standing on the roof of a skyscraper,

holding a metal rod while there's lightning.

The universe didn't do that shit to you.

You did that shit to yourself!

Now, it's bad enough that Trump has put the entire White House in danger

before he knew there was a virus outbreak.

But what's even more disturbing is that after Trump found out

that he could have been exposed to the virus,

he didn't quarantine, even social distance,

he carried on with his life with complete disregard for other people's lives.

There is evidence of disregard for the health and safety of others.

...