Before we get into it, I wanted to do a quick, quick trigger warning or warning about potentially

being triggered that in this episode, the guests and I talk about suicide attempts and suicidal

ideation. But I realized for me, sometimes I would say these really extreme things, for example,

like talking about self-harm or being like, I'm gonna throw myself in front of my bus,

it's true, everything. I would say that, but there's no way it's like, it's like,

narcissistic of me because it's kind of putting whoever I'm saying it to in a really weird position.

Like, what do they say to that? Like, you're, you got to catch up sitting your shirt and

you're saying, I'm gonna go throw myself in front of a bus. It's really extreme and inconsiderate.

And it's something I actually, when I had this, this moment of clarity, it really made me go,

ooh, I got a knockback behavior off. What it is is, for me, it was not really knowing how to

soothe myself or not necessarily being hurt as a kid. So then I would say these really extreme

things to try to get some kind of attention to try to get, try to get some soothing. And then I would

go, I'm not even joking, go, I would, I would go eat something. We talk about my relationship with

sugar on here. It is what it is. So, trigger warning, we do talk about suicidal ideation and suicide

attempts. And it's a, that's certainly not the focus of the episode, but it is in there,

and our producer land right before we were gonna air it said, hey, you know what? Let's do a,

let's do a little beep beep back up the bus. Just a little heads up that, that is discussed. So

if that's something sensitive to you, I feel for you. And this is another episode of Inside the

Closet buckle up. Hey, this is Mateo Lane. I'm Emma Wilman. And this is Inside the Closet.

All right, welcome back to another episode of Inside the Closet. Welcome back, welcome back,

welcome back. We're currently in a studio doing a bunch of episodes back back, which can be

doing this more often. It's so much different in person talking to you versus over Zoom.

...