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Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Considering Divorce? Or Is There Still Hope? | E44

Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

YAP Media Network | Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Mental Health, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Relationships

4.7890 Ratings

🗓️ 19 May 2014

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Having ambivalence about your relationship sometimes is completely normal.  You have a fight. Maybe a few fights. You go through a period where you both feel disconnected. Kids, jobs, cleaning bathrooms, the dandelions in the front lawn -- virtually everything seems like it's more of a priority than your marriage.  All relationships have ebbs and flows. Disconnection and reconnection is simply the experience of being in a long term relationship. But sometimes ... it is hard to reconnect. Particularly if toxic negativity begins to color your interactions. When attachment stretches thin and you can't remember the last time you laughed together, it's normal to wonder if you ever will again. When negative experiences with your partner start to outnumber the good ones, it's normal to wonder if you've arrived at the "end of the line."  Is Divorce the Solution?  Not necessarily. Feeling upset and scared about your marriage are exactly the feelings that prompt couples to start marriage counseling. Being unhappy with the situation creates the motivation that you need to do the difficult work of growing back together again. And in my experience, when couples have a will to repair the relationship there is always a way. But sometimes, people begin to fantasize about divorce. They don't know how to resolve their relationship problems, and divorcing feels like the only solution. When divorce starts to feel like the glowing, open door to freedom and happiness -- your relationship is in trouble. And of course, I understand there are situations where you may not have a choice: Your partner unilaterally moves towards the door, or perhaps there are such unhealthy and toxic things going on in a marriage that divorcing is genuinely the only reasonable option.  Let's Get Real. If you are toeing up to the edge of this precipice, or perhaps already starting to go through the searing process of taking a marriage apart: This podcast is for you.  On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with Pro Divorce Mediator Denisa Tova about things to think about if you're on the fence about divorcing, and also practical strategies for creating the best possible outcomes if you decide to move forward with divorce. Main Points: 1) How to tell the difference between "solvable problems" between you and your partner, and situations where divorce is really the best choice. 2) The mindset you need to foster to create a healthy divorce experience. 3) Practical strategies for how to have a civilized, collaborative divorce instead of an ugly, angry one.  Listen Now:

Transcript

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0:00.0

This is Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, and you're listening to the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast.

0:07.8

Stand forward, steps back. This is the end of the right. I want my money back. I waited in line.

0:16.2

It's a cold and rain. I waited and heat my swim blood. Waited to hear from the mill your fever there is the end of the ride

0:25.3

my layer is dusty and sky when piled with the end of the ride and that was mr and mrs smith with the end of the ride

0:34.1

and that kind of appropriate because that's what we're talking about today.

0:38.2

We are talking about divorce. Not the happiest subject in the world, but something that a lot of

0:44.5

people need to deal with. And so I figured that it deserved our attention on a podcast today.

0:50.7

And today I'm going to be talking about how to have the healthiest divorce possible.

0:57.6

If this is something that you must do, there are ways of going about divorce that can lead to

1:03.2

happier and more loving and more successful outcomes than others.

1:07.5

And you deserve to know that.

1:09.5

So before we get started, let me just tell you a little bit about me.

1:13.5

If this is your first time connecting with the love, happiness, and success podcast, I'm

1:18.0

Dr. Lisa Marie-Bobby.

1:19.5

I work in three different areas.

1:21.8

I'm a therapist and a marriage counselor and a life coach.

1:26.3

I have a practice in Denver, Colorado, and I started

1:29.2

making this podcast because I quickly realized that I only have so many hours in the day. I can

1:35.1

only connect with so many clients personally and individually, and I'm really passionate about

1:41.6

helping people and teaching people strategies about how to create more

1:45.7

love, happiness, and success in their lives. So I do a lot of writing and blogging. And I also

1:54.2

created this podcast. It's just kind of a service project. So putting this out there for people

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