Confidence Expert Dr. Shadé Zahrai: Feel Like You’re Not Enough? THIS Proven 4 Part Framework Will Transform Your Self-Image & Build REAL Confidence
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
iHeartPodcasts
4.7 • 30.5K Ratings
🗓️ 17 December 2025
⏱️ 137 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today, Jay sits down with Dr. Shadé Zahrai to explore how self-doubt quietly influences our decisions, and what it takes to rebuild trust in ourselves. Shadé unpacks the psychology behind impostor syndrome, fear of failure, and the inner stories that convince people they’re not ready or not enough. Together, they examine how the brain’s need for certainty drives worst-case thinking, and why that protective instinct often keeps us stuck, even when opportunity is right in front of us.
Shadé offers grounded frameworks, from shifting “should” into “could” to create more possibility, to designing simple action plans that help regain a sense of control when things feel overwhelming. Shadé reflects on purpose, care, and leaving people better than we found them, while Jay highlights that trusting yourself doesn’t mean never experiencing doubt. Together, they explore how self-image is shaped by the feedback we internalize, why criticism tends to linger longer than praise, and how healing emotional “scars” allows us to move forward without self-sabotage.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Trust Yourself Again
How to Stop Letting Self-Doubt Inform Your Decisions
How to Reframe Impostor Syndrome as Growth
How to Turn Fear Into Forward Action
How to Shift From “Should” to “Could”
How to Take Action When You Feel Stuck
How to Heal the Self-Image Behind the Self-Doubt
Confidence isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the willingness to move forward even when fear is present. Every step you take, no matter how small, strengthens your trust in yourself and reminds you that you are capable of learning, adapting, and becoming more than you were yesterday.
Pre-order Shadé’s new book, Big Trust, to dive deeper into the framework for rebuilding self-trust and breaking free from self-doubt:
https://www.shadezahrai.com/bigtrust
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
01:47 What Drives Self-Doubt?
02:58 The Power of Your Self-Image
06:54 The Four Pillars of Self-Image
08:44 Struggling With Self-Acceptance
15:35 How Lack of Acceptance Fuels Perfectionism
20:50 Shifting From Comparison to Emulation
27:55 Becoming Before You Believe
32:14 Why the Brain Craves Certainty
38:00 Do You Ever Feel Like You’re Not Enough?
44:24 Learning to Detach From Labels
56:04 The Self-Talk That Keeps You Grounded
01:01:11 Believing You’re Capable
01:06:22 Everyone Experiences Self-Doubt!
01:08:56 What Actually Replaces Self-Doubt?
01:15:20 Getting the Job Even When You Feel Underqualified
01:24:13 Understanding Key Differences Between Men and Women
01:26:53 Why Constant Complaining Signals Low Self-Trust
01:37:12 Growth After Trauma
01:43:52 Why We Focus on What We Can’t Control
01:50:42 Learning to Adapt to Your Emotions
01:56:26 Creating Your “I Could, I Will” List
02:00:07 Shadé on Final Five
Episode Resources:
Dr. Shadé Zahrai | Website
Dr. Shadé Zahrai | Instagram
Dr. Shadé Zahrai | YouTube
Dr. Shadé Zahrai | TikTok
Dr. Shadé Zahrai | Linkedin
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast, guaranteed human. |
| 0:05.0 | 90% of people are waiting for that feeling of confidence before they take that step. |
| 0:09.5 | That feeling of confidence, it does not come before we take the action. |
| 0:12.7 | It comes after we take the action. |
| 0:15.1 | Hey, everyone. |
| 0:15.7 | Welcome back to On Purpose. |
| 0:17.1 | I'm your host, Jay Shetty. |
| 0:18.3 | And today I'm joined by Shadehzari, award-winning leadership expert and |
| 0:23.1 | author of her first book, Big Trust. |
| 0:26.6 | If you haven't got your copy yet, make sure you go and grab it. |
| 0:29.7 | We're going to put the link in the caption. |
| 0:31.8 | If you've ever felt held back by self-doubt or fear of failure, this conversation will |
| 0:37.0 | show you how to trust yourself again |
| 0:39.2 | and start moving forward with real confidence. I've followed Shadei on Instagram and TikTok for years now. |
| 0:46.4 | I'm a huge fan and today I finally have her on the seat on On On Purpose. Please welcome to the show, |
| 0:53.1 | Shadeh. It's so great to have you here. It's so |
| 0:55.8 | wonderful to be here, Jay. Congratulations on Big Class. I love the topic. I'm so glad that you |
| 1:02.0 | zeroed in on it. I actually believe that self-doubt is without a doubt one of the biggest |
| 1:09.8 | issues in the world today at an individual personal |
| 1:13.2 | level. And the reason why so many people don't go after their dreams, don't go after the |
| 1:18.3 | career they won, don't go after the person they want to be with, don't go after a promotion, |
| 1:23.7 | don't go after a connection, a friendship, because we are scared of how we'll be perceived. And |
... |
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