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It's the Late Show Pancho with Stephen Colberg.

Let's sum it up. Next guest tonight applied to be a writer on My Late Night Show back in the

early 1990s. He wasn't ready then, but a spot just opened up. I'd like to talk to him see if he's

got what it takes. I've been told he's made some progress in the business. Please welcome

him as Stephen Colbert.

Stephen, what a...

Thrilled to have you here. I'm a big fan. I've been a fan for ages. Who the hell do you think you are?

I'm Stephen Colbert, look at me!

You know, I really, I think you have a lot of explaining to do. I am needy.

You're needy, and when I'm not with the audience, I get panicky.

You get panicky without the audience. I get a little depressed when I can't stand

in front of the audience and tell them jokes and get laughs. I get a little, I get a little,

I get depressed. I get depressed. I get lonely. What's that like to be?

They're my only friends, Conan. Okay, okay.

What's that like to be a needy performer?

Who's only happy if they're getting laughs and without it, they feel shallow and empty.

I want to explore that world because it's a mystery to me.

It's profitable. Yeah.

I've turned my mental illness into a business model.

...