Coke-y Jill, Two-Pinters & 1996 Baby Names
Phoning It In
Luke Oddie and Dan Wade
5.0 • 765 Ratings
🗓️ 14 May 2026
⏱️ 25 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Dan kicks things off with the details of a weekend trip to a snooker club in Peterborough. Alongside navigating drugged-up staff members, the publican is forced to do the unthinkable: step foot inside a Wetherspoons.
On the other end of the line, Luke provides an update on his investigation into exposing an ex-coworker's side hustle on a rogue Polish adult website. He's also fresh from a trip to the darts, bringing back tales of extortionate ‘two-pinters’; a monstrous drinking vessel that baffles Dan.
Plus, the lads tackle the official ONS 1996 name rankings, the tragic death of an EastEnders legend, and why Luke finds The Cat in the Hat repulsive.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Sorry, I'm a little bit late and a little bit sweaty. |
| 0:24.8 | Can you guess what I've been up to? |
| 0:26.6 | Well, sweaty would make sense for coitus, but being late wouldn't make sense for coitus, dang. |
| 0:32.6 | Because if I know you, you'd be early, if anything. |
| 0:36.0 | Exactly. |
| 0:36.6 | After a sash. |
| 0:41.7 | After a sish. I'd be making a casserole and a lasagna why are you sweaty it's quite warm in our kitchen just thinking about the food we've got |
| 0:47.3 | a tumble dryer on that is nowhere near a good enough excuse to be eight minutes late dan yeah |
| 0:52.2 | well there you go. |
| 0:55.0 | Say, Avi. |
| 0:57.7 | Dan, are you going to tell me about Koke Jill? |
| 0:58.5 | I'm going to have to go. And we're going to get it out of you. |
| 1:00.3 | Oh, Koki Jill. |
| 1:01.4 | Well, so weekend, just gone, had it off. |
| 1:05.3 | And my friend George Smith, which you recall, who recorded the music for... |
| 1:10.8 | Ah, the paedophile, I believe, of one episode we talked about him being a paedipa or rapist. Wild aspersions. George Smith, do we like him? He was a bit... Yeah, we do like him. Oh, we do. He did as a great kindness, didn't he, with our... God, I look good. |
| 1:28.1 | Pardon? Look pretty fit in this picture, like? |
| 1:30.3 | Dan, finish a sentence. |
| 1:31.5 | What did George Smith do is a big favour for? |
| 1:33.7 | Our other podcast, which you can still hear episodes of... |
| 1:37.3 | On this very feed. |
| 1:39.3 | That is 15. |
... |
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