Codependency and Healthy Dependency with Nedra Glover Tawwab

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 16 February 2026

⏱️ 78 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Protect your peace, set boundaries, don't let people drain your energy…there’s a lot of advice like that, and it’s easy to take it a little too far. Therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab joins Forrest to discuss the unintended consequences of the boundaries movement. They talk about how the helpful concept of boundaries led some toward isolation and rigid standards, and focus on healthy dependency: the reality that we all need other people. Nedra explains the spectrum from codependency to hyper-independence, why your attachment style is more flexible than you think, and how the stories we tell about ourselves become self-fulfilling. Throughout, they focus on developing key aspects of healthy dependency: being able to ask for help, receive support, tolerate distance, feel comfortable in closeness, and repair after conflict. About our Guest: Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author with over 2 million followers on social media. Her new book is The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: Misconceptions around boundaries 7:14: What we get wrong about codependency 11:13: The consequences of individualism 15:00: How this all relates to attachment styles 20:03: Personal narratives and self-concept 24:50: Opposite action vs. trusting your gut 27:46: Developing self-awareness around your tendencies 34:42: Navigating distance and boundaries in relationships 44:30: Showing up for friends in difficult relationships 52:50: How to be in imperfect relationships 55:51: How to move out of the shallow zone in relationships 1:07:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code BEINGWELL at huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello and welcome to being well. I'm Forrest Hansen. If you're new to the podcast, thanks for joining us today. And if you've listened before, welcome back. Everybody has two important needs. And our ability to meet them has a huge impact on our happiness in life. First, we need to feel
0:21.2	independent and autonomous, like we can stand on our own and make choices that matter. Second, we
0:27.0	need some amount of closeness and intimacy, the feeling that we're supported by other people, and
0:31.8	not just doing life on our own. The challenge for most people is figuring out how to balance these
0:37.0	two needs because they can often pull us in opposite directions.
0:41.2	My guest today is Nedrick Lover-Tawab, a licensed therapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author with over 2 million followers on social media.
0:49.1	Her work on boundaries played a huge role in bringing that concept to the mainstream. And our new book, The Balancing Act,
0:54.6	is about what she calls Healthy Dependency, How to Rely on Other People Without Losing Yourself. So, Nadra,
1:01.3	how are you doing today? I am well. Thank you for the intro. Yeah, so happy to. And the last time that
1:06.8	we talked was years ago, it was for your first book, Set Bound Piece, which I thought was
1:12.9	fantastic. And as I said in the introduction, really introduced your work to a lot of people. And I want to
1:18.1	start by saying that I think it is so interesting that you wrote this book, particularly in the
1:23.2	context of the broader conversation about boundaries. And when an idea takes off, it's easy for people
1:28.3	to oversimplify it or misunderstand it or take it to extremes. And I'm wondering if part of your
1:34.3	motivation here for writing this book was as kind of a response to that. Yeah, I, since the time of
1:40.5	writing set boundaries find peace, which I think was and is a pivotal part of relationship.
1:48.5	Since that time, 2021, I have seen people taking boundaries and weaponizing them in some instances.
1:58.7	Or having such rigid standards that we have created more isolation and
2:10.2	instances of loneliness. So I wouldn't say is necessarily a correction as much as it is an expansion on what does healthy dependency
2:23.4	in relationships look like. How can we bring boundaries in without being over-boundaryed
2:31.5	or even being under-boundary? Like how are we maintaining, you know, that sense of
2:36.9	autonomy without being too independent? So there is this, this balance of dependency that I think
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Being Well, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Being Well and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.