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Citation Needed

Christmas Fails

Citation Needed

Citation Needed Media

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.82.9K Ratings

🗓️ 23 December 2020

⏱️ 44 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lapland New Forest was a Christmas-themed park near RingwoodHampshireUK.[1] The park had been advertised as being a "winter wonderland" with a variety of exciting family events such as a Christmas market and a "magical tunnel of light", but the majority of the promised attractions either malfunctioned or were of a very low quality. The park closed after a week after complaints from customers and poor press attention, and the organisers were charged with misleading advertising, and sentenced to 13 months in prison.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

And so this lady rolls up and she says, excuse me, he was saving my place in line.

0:05.0

No!

0:06.0

Yes!

0:07.0

You did not let her in, did you?

0:09.0

Absolutely not.

0:10.0

I said, lady, you wheel your way to the back of the line, or I'll break that other hip for you.

0:14.0

Yeah, good for you, fuck her!

0:16.0

Oh, thank goodness you guys are here. Is Cecil here yet?

0:19.0

Uh, no.

0:20.0

Awesome, awesome.

0:21.0

Because you are never gonna believe what I got him for Christmas.

0:25.0

Did you make a clone of yours in his DNA again? Cause he did not like that last year.

0:30.0

Yeah, plus it just year.

0:31.0

Spasm to round going, kill me, kill me!

0:35.0

Yeah, so irritating.

0:36.0

That was not great, that was on me.

0:39.0

No, this is way better, so much better.

0:42.0

Let me ask you this, who is the ideal guest for our episode about Christmas tales?

0:48.0

Uh, Eli, that's right.

0:50.0

Santa Claus himself.

0:52.0

And I'm not kidding, he was actually just hanging out at the mall a few weeks ago.

0:57.0

Oh, Eli.

...

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