This is a Global Player Original podcast.

You ready?

Yes, I am.

Welcome to this episode of Dirty Motherpucker, you dirty motherpuckers.

I'm Anna White House, the founder of Motherpucker, and I'm joined by my best mate, Polly, Hazelwood, Pea Dog, the pollster in the house.

Oh, thank you for that lovely introduction.

You're welcome. You are welcome.

We've had a ride this last 24 hours, haven't we? We have a ride every day, Anna. Come on. But it's quite a sort of mundane, banal ride. It's not like an Alton Tower's nemesis ride. It's not a roller coaster. No, it's like one of those really rubbish teacups that doesn't quite work. And there's some guy there who's a smoke in a

fag and isn't really invested in the fairground. No, and it probably breaks down halfway through and somebody probably falls off and throws up. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not like high end ride. Nobody wants to be on it. Let's be honest. Nobody wants, no. No, it's cueing. No. It's just one of those rides. As you would say, not a dicky bird. Not a single

dicky bird. Anyway, on this ride, I had to go to an event and I had to get in this dress that

doesn't fit me. And I don't know about you, but I have lots of dresses in my wardrobe that don't

fit me that one day, one day I shall get in. We shall do a cull, won't we? We have to. I think just for my mental health, it is mental health awareness week and I'm not feeling great right now. So I said to Polly, I was like, look, I can't get in this dress, but I feel like the issue is with the zipper. And I need you to help me get in this. And she came over and she was like, very pol like very politely said um babe I think we're going to have to get you on the floor I think we're going to to be honest with you before you got you I wasn't even going to come round I don't know how you'd have done this I know you only had one dress yeah I was like I might need a second option you're like this only option. At one point, I was going to ask the neighbour to come over and stand on you. Instead, I stood on you on the floor. That, tried to pull that zip up, wasn't going anywhere. But it was the zip. I have to say to people, it was the zip. There was something wrong with that zip. Thank you so much because when someone's saying

it's the zip and you're just thinking, is it? Because I can feel the back fat literally pooling over the back of this dress. No, no, no, but it was, honestly. And look, I'm body positive. I'm not like talking, you know, I hate when people talk about their flappy bingo wings and their back fat. It was just more like this dress didn't fit.

But this is where you come into your own,

because as I'm like, about their flappy bingo wings and their back fat. It was just more like that this dress didn't fit.

But this is where you come into your own. Because as I'm like, okay, the floor didn't work. We're bending over the dressing table. Like I'm poised you in. You're like, right, okay, pull the boots. If anyone was looking in, they think we were having a proper... You know, like, you know, we've had a few comments, people going, you two together.

They'd have looked in at this scene,

bending me over,

yanking the zip up.

They're more than just a couple.

They're more than... you know, we've had a few comments, people going, you two together. They'd have looked in at this scene, bending me over, yanking the zip up.

They're more than just a couple.

...