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Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Cheating, Self-Aware, Kirk Transference, and Dumping Clients

Psychology In Seattle Podcast

Kirk Honda

Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.51.3K Ratings

🗓️ 4 August 2023

⏱️ 72 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Kirk and Bob answer patron emails.

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00:00 Betrayal trauma17:18 Being 'too' self aware
33:03 Kirk transference
42:51 Ethical termination of therapy

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August 4, 2023

The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®


Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.

Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

So Bob e-mails what do you say? Yeah. This first e-mails from anonymous patron, she writes,

0:05.6

this is a question for you and Bob if he's available, are you available? I'm available, right?

0:11.0

Regarding betrayal trauma. I recently discovered my boyfriend cheated on me with someone we know.

0:17.2

He said it was a one-off thing, but it clearly took some organizing. And then through this,

0:23.1

I discovered that he was talking with his ex-wife after previously he would be telling me,

0:27.6

I only talk with my ex-wife every few months, but they're actually talking every couple days.

0:33.1

So basically, he admitted he was having an emotional affair with her. Yes.

0:37.6

None of these behaviors line up with who I thought I knew him to be at all. I feel so scared

0:42.9

about his request to move forward together with him, because one, I'm not sure if he can change

0:48.3

into how does one start to cultivate trust with a partner after something like this that

0:54.2

that avoid being controlling. I think she's saying, I want, I have an impulse, I guess, to say

1:00.8

you can't talk to any women for the rest of your life or something. Right, some control.

1:04.4

But I don't want to do that. So how do I cultivate trust? I'm scared this might just be who he is,

1:11.4

and it will happen again, and I'm already in so much pain and feel so ashamed. Thank you for all

1:16.1

you do, for all of us. So Bob, what do you think? Well, I'm very sorry. I think it's some of the

1:22.0

worst pain the humans go through is this kind of betrayal sucks. The two thoughts I have are,

1:28.8

I'll try to be as brief as I can. The fear of having to be Bob. It could be as lengthy as you do.

1:34.1

Oh, well, people like it when you talk. Well, this might take a bit. And in order to cultivate trust,

1:40.6

there has to be a couple things to happen. One of them is you both have to understand what actually

1:47.4

got injured. So like betrayal of trust, yes, that's a very way to talk about it. But what actually

1:53.8

inside what meaning does your body, does your heart make of that kind of betrayal? And that has to,

2:02.4

as I understand it, you'll need to describe that both for yourself and for him could be very

...

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