Cheating, Self-Aware, Kirk Transference, and Dumping Clients
Psychology In Seattle Podcast
Kirk Honda
4.5 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 4 August 2023
⏱️ 72 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
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00:00 Betrayal trauma17:18 Being 'too' self aware
33:03 Kirk transference
42:51 Ethical termination of therapy
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August 4, 2023
The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®
Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So Bob e-mails what do you say? Yeah. This first e-mails from anonymous patron, she writes, |
| 0:05.6 | this is a question for you and Bob if he's available, are you available? I'm available, right? |
| 0:11.0 | Regarding betrayal trauma. I recently discovered my boyfriend cheated on me with someone we know. |
| 0:17.2 | He said it was a one-off thing, but it clearly took some organizing. And then through this, |
| 0:23.1 | I discovered that he was talking with his ex-wife after previously he would be telling me, |
| 0:27.6 | I only talk with my ex-wife every few months, but they're actually talking every couple days. |
| 0:33.1 | So basically, he admitted he was having an emotional affair with her. Yes. |
| 0:37.6 | None of these behaviors line up with who I thought I knew him to be at all. I feel so scared |
| 0:42.9 | about his request to move forward together with him, because one, I'm not sure if he can change |
| 0:48.3 | into how does one start to cultivate trust with a partner after something like this that |
| 0:54.2 | that avoid being controlling. I think she's saying, I want, I have an impulse, I guess, to say |
| 1:00.8 | you can't talk to any women for the rest of your life or something. Right, some control. |
| 1:04.4 | But I don't want to do that. So how do I cultivate trust? I'm scared this might just be who he is, |
| 1:11.4 | and it will happen again, and I'm already in so much pain and feel so ashamed. Thank you for all |
| 1:16.1 | you do, for all of us. So Bob, what do you think? Well, I'm very sorry. I think it's some of the |
| 1:22.0 | worst pain the humans go through is this kind of betrayal sucks. The two thoughts I have are, |
| 1:28.8 | I'll try to be as brief as I can. The fear of having to be Bob. It could be as lengthy as you do. |
| 1:34.1 | Oh, well, people like it when you talk. Well, this might take a bit. And in order to cultivate trust, |
| 1:40.6 | there has to be a couple things to happen. One of them is you both have to understand what actually |
| 1:47.4 | got injured. So like betrayal of trust, yes, that's a very way to talk about it. But what actually |
| 1:53.8 | inside what meaning does your body, does your heart make of that kind of betrayal? And that has to, |
| 2:02.4 | as I understand it, you'll need to describe that both for yourself and for him could be very |
... |
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