Shrink me down to the size of a pea so I can be a priest in the kneecap of Daniel D. Lewis, you clueless, Onas.

Welcome to the Blind by podcast. If this is your first episode, consider going back to an earlier episode to familiarize yourself with the lore of this podcast.

I'm presenting this week's podcast from my brand new office.

My brand new fucking office.

If you're a regular listener, if you're a transcendent enda or a steaming quaver,

you know that I record this podcast in an office, in a big giant office building full of other offices. Nothing artistic

happens here, nothing creative happens here. It's a dull, dreary corporate environment.

There's call centres here. Data management firms, accountants, solicitors, risk management firms, insurance underwriters.

There's a place that just does IT solutions for inventory and warehouse management.

Corporate benchmarking and performance metrics. What the fuck is that? I don't know. I don't know what that is.

One day I was curious and down in the canteen, I asked a man what it was and he says,

we have a number of corporate clients and we measure their performance against each other.

And I looked a bit confused. And then he says, it's the business version of checking your grades against the class average.

And I knew that he was repeating verbatim, something that he'd heard from a yank.

Which means he didn't understand it himself and he wasn't thinking about it critically.

Because if he was, he'd have delivered it to me

in his own language and fair play to him, but I can't imagine, I can't imagine doing that.

I've no context for doing that or giving a fuck about that. But yeah, I work in a huge office building

where people clock in at nine and they leave at five.

The reason I record my podcast in an office is because an office is my idea of hell.

Nothing wrong with working in an office just for me, for me personally.

It really wouldn't suit me.

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