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The Mel Robbins Podcast

Change Your Relationship With Alcohol – How to Control Your Urge to Drink

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.810.6K Ratings

🗓️ 17 July 2023

⏱️ 61 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today on the podcast, you and I are having a deeply personal and eye-opening conversation about alcohol and your relationship to it. Rachel Hart is a best-selling author and master coach who has helped thousands of people re-examine their relationship with alcohol, and that’s exactly what she is going to help you do today. Rachel knows the surprising reason you (and I) crave a drink (or have the urge to shop, vape, play video games, scroll on social media, or want something sweet). She’ll also explain that weird cycle of emotions you experience after drinking. Did I drink too much last night? Did I do anything I regret? Should I stop drinking altogether? Should I detox this week before the wedding next weekend? How do I drink less? Maybe it’s time I stopped altogether. You’ll learn that this agitation and conflict about alcohol are normal. The question is, How do you change it? Rachel says it’s by examining the desires underneath the urge. Today, Rachel will help you unpack urges and desires and teach you why boundaries go right out the window when you feel an urge. Today you’ll learn: What your drinking might really be all about. (it’s not what you think) Why feeling conflicted about drinking is normal. Where do urges really come from, and how do you ignore them? How your first experience with alcohol impacts your relationship with it. What your desires are trying to tell you. How to ditch the shame once and for all. The complicated messaging around alcohol. The 30-day plan Rachel uses with all her clients. Not sure if you have a problem with alcohol? Worried about someone else who does? You're not ready to quit alcohol all together, but you wish you’d not reach for the glass of wine most nights. Wonder if maybe you should stop? Perfect. Listen in. You can change your relationship with alcohol. After this episode, you’ll know how. Xo, Mel In this episode, you’ll learn: 02:12: Why is my relationship with alcohol so confusing? 05:43: The shame cycle I go through every time I drink. 12:08: What does your urge actually symbolize? For me, I had to go back to when I was 14 to figure it out. 15:07: You are creating boundaries that justify your cravings and urges. 20:06: What your urges and cravings are trying to communicate to you. 23:07: The difference between your upper and lower brain and what you need to know. 26:10: How to stop drinking without stopping drinking. 28:09: Learning how to change means having a different relationship with commitment. 36:18: Tool #1: Name the urge when it’s happening. 40:06: Why "just say no" doesn’t work. 48:03: Stop looking for answers from others. You have an inner knowing of what’s best for you. 54:47: Tool #2: Ask yourself, If you couldn’t drink for the rest of your life, what would it feel like? 58:30: Disappointment when you give up your urges is normal. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:05.0

Okay, I'm so glad you're here today because today is one of those conversations where I

0:13.2

need you to put your arm around me.

0:15.6

You know how I always say that the Mel Robbins podcast is like you and I going on a walk

0:19.4

together and sorting out life and all kinds of topics together.

0:23.4

Well today, I want to talk about something that's been on my mind for a long time and that

0:28.1

is my relationship with alcohol.

0:31.3

And if I'm being honest, I've resisted having this conversation on the podcast because

0:35.5

I'm not ready to remove alcohol from my life entirely, but I am so conflicted about drinking.

0:43.4

I know it's bad for my health.

0:45.0

I have so many other healthy habits and yet I still love to have a cocktail.

0:49.4

I still love to have a glass of wine.

0:51.7

And maybe it's because Chris doesn't really drink that much.

0:54.6

And so I often in confronted with drive a glass of wine alone, do I not?

0:59.9

And this isn't just a conversation about alcohol.

1:03.3

You may not have any issue with alcohol.

1:05.1

You may be sober.

1:06.1

You may not really drink at all.

1:07.5

You may be able to have one beer or one glass of wine and never think about it.

1:11.5

But you probably have something else in your life that you're conflicted about.

1:17.6

Maybe it's how much money you spend.

1:19.4

Maybe it's an addiction to sugar.

...

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