Oh, welcome to Improper Humans with Matt Besser, that's me. Welcome everybody. We are going to be taking your suggestions off the Twitter,

conversating about that, and then doing some scenes off that conversating. Yes, that is a word. Check Carter.

Yes. When you hear a loud sound or suspicious sound at night or something, when you feel, when you sense danger,

what do you have a something that you grab? Like do you have like an aluminum bat? Do you have this go-to thing that you weapon that you go to?

Not really. I think I have the opposite because my dog is much more convinced that the catacosam is coming than I am.

So anytime there's a noise outside, I'm just like, it's nothing go to bed. But the dog is new to you.

Yeah, I know that about you. So you haven't had what before the dog? Really nothing. Well, I used to keep a baseball bat in my car in West Virginia.

Sure. I don't know. Seems like everyone had to have a weapon in their car of some sort. But there people have real weapons, rifles.

Yeah, yeah. And moonshine. So you can light on fire.

So it was a close distance weapon. You wouldn't want to get into an argument at like 300 yards with a baseball bat.

But yeah, my brother had this story because he didn't want his radio stolen. So he would tell the story over and over that was complete BS about.

Yeah, I taped razor blades to the back of my kinwood. So anyone tries to steal that's going to slice up their hands guaranteed.

But it was just made up. He just didn't want to steal his radio.

So he assumed whoever was going to steal it. He knew. Yeah, yeah. It's always someone you know that steals from you.

Yeah, that is linen.

Parham, you don't say the H, right? No, you said it exactly right.

When you were a kid, was that was that the go-to way to make fun of you?

Parham, you're made of ham. It's not even up to par.

There was an older gentleman that worked in the cafeteria and also frequented the softball field that called me.

Oh, I don't like the sounds of that. He was there where he had challenges.

Parham Paddy, he called me.

What's a ham paddy?

...