Hi, it's Jay Parker with this week's sex chat quickie. When I was younger, I railed against

Valentine's as an invented holiday intended to line the pockets of florists, chocolatiers, and greeting

card companies. Yep, I was that person. Fast forward 30-something years, and my husband popped into

my office the other day and asked if we

were doing anything special for Valentine's Day. While it's still not among my favorite holidays,

I love that it encourages couples to celebrate their romance, affection, and intimacy, and that my husband

wants us to be one of those couples. Plus, Hallmark didn't invent the holiday. It was started by the church

way back in the Middle Ages as a feast to commemorate St. Valentine, often identified as a priest

who continued to perform marriages for soldiers after they were outlawed. The timing of Valentine's

day coincided with the beginning of birds mating season. Speaking of mating, what does this holiday mean to you

and your husband? Too often it means something quite different to each of you, and feelings can get

hurt when things don't go as hoped. Take time to talk about your desires and expectations. How important

is Valentine's Day to each of you? What would make the day special for each of you? Do you like

plan dates or surprises? Who will do the planning? And will the day include sexual intimacy?

Unless you're unable to engage or in a relationship recovery period that makes sex a no-go for

the time being, we suggest embracing sex as part of celebrating your love. But on this day of romance, it likely

won't and shouldn't be the priority. Rather, put your whole selves into creating that romance,

expressing affection, and savoring your connection. We suspect if you lean into that fully,

you might find your sexual interest awakened, or at least willing to be awakened. Sex isn't the goal here,

but sex can be a sweet ending to this fun holiday. And a final word to the wise, if Valentine's Day

matters to your spouse, it should matter to you, because they matter to you. Even if you think

V-Day is a bit overblown, why not use this opportunity to honor your spouse and

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