Hey, friend of Jerry listeners, you can find every episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. Alright, friend of Jerry episode 22. Today, I'm going to do something a little bit different. I usually put out like a post on social media or a video or something like that. of me for myiversaries whatever five years or six years today July 4th, 2022. I have seven years clean and sober. I did something different. I wrote a letter pretty much. I wrote a note and I decided to write it because I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to get through the video. Like I personally, I would, like writing this took me a while. Start of this, in the beginning of June, you know, I knew I was coming up July would be seven years, so I decided, yeah, fuck it, I'm gonna just write something instead. So beginning of June till, I'd say, a couple days ago, I finished a letter. I'm not gonna read the letter. I'm gonna step out the room. And, you know, Kevin is actually gonna be the one to read the note because, you know, he's a big part of the show. He does an amazing job for the show. And he really cares about this show. So what other, what better person to read it than him? So he's gonna read it. I'm gonna step out We'll put the video be out and it'll be a voice over pretty much of Kevin read in the note and You know, maybe some pictures that pop up kev or something like that. Yeah, this is a big ask Jerry Yes, it's definitely a big ask, but But, I personally can't get through it get through it out crying So I can't unfortunately do it. You don't want to see the or let the viewers see you emotion No, it's a little bit too much of Jersey, yeah, it's a bit too much so we'll have pretty much like a black screen and Kevin will have the voice over of the note and and I'm going to step out the room and you'll just read it and then for YouTube it's going to just be just like a black screen voice over with the words right? Yeah, that's what we'll do. We'll do that. We'll throw in a couple pictures and whatnot, you know. So I hope you guys enjoy it and it really helped out a lot. if you know I think this will be on Twitter, Instagram and whatnot. If you share it to your story or give it a retweet you might save somebody's life. Today July 4th 2022 I get the chance to celebrate seven years clean and sober. Honestly I don't know where to start. Every year I usually make a video to put out on social media, but this year is a little different. I tried, but I can't get through the video without crime, so I decided to write instead. I want to take you back to July 3rd, 2015. My mother booked me on a one-way plane ticket to Scottsdale, Arizona. I remember being in Newark Airport and hugging her. I'm already starting to cry. I'll never forget what she told me. Give yourself a chance this time, pal.

I didn't know it at the time... I remember being a newer care-portant hugging her. I'm already starting to cry. I'll never forget what she told me.

Give yourself a chance this time, pal. I didn't know it at the time, but those words would go a long way. I was on my way to my 14th inpatient facility. We hugged and I boarded my plane to Scottsdale. Deep down something told me it would be the last time I see her for a long time. I sat on that plane for 5 hours next to this older gentleman and while I don't remember

much of that flight, I remember him asking me, what's bringing you to Arizona. I responded, business. Our conversation pretty much ended there. I'm sure he knew I wasn't going there for business. I was too embarrassed to tell him the real reason. I landed late in Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport around 8.30 pm. I I didn't have to get any checked luggage because I pretty much sold all my clothes to thrift stores while I was in active addiction. There was a guy standing there as I get off the plane with a sign that read Gerard. I remember the look in his eyes. It was a look my family often gave me. The year about to die look. I was 120 pounds. Yeah, I gained 80 pounds since I got sober, so what? With yellow

skin, and my eyes were sunken in with bags under them. We hopped in the car, drove about 30 minutes to Scottsdale. While we were in the car, I was looking out the window and was gorgeous. Palm trees, mountains, cacti, and not a single piece of trash on the roads. It was so clean and for the first time even though I was scared it was refreshing to see. We get to the house where I'll be living with

eight other guys and they all look so happy to meet me. So kind and generous. They asked me if I was hungry or needed clothes. I responded, both. Charlie cooked me a burger. It was the best burger I ever had, probably because my stomach was so empty from not eating the last two days. Charlie is one of the best dudes I ever met. We became roommates right away. He made me feel so comfortable. We shared so many laughs during my stay in reading. The next day is July 4th, 2015. I didn't know it at the time but that day would go on to mean so much to me. That date is tattooed on my right wrist with the words, hold on, underneath it. It's a holiday so there isn't any meetings going on and I didn't get the chance to meet my counselor Joe Ross. That weekend I remember

hearing... with the words, hold on, underneath it. It's a holiday, so there isn't any meetings going on and I didn't get the chance to

meet my counselor, Joe Ross.

That weekend I remember hearing all the stories. Hopefully you don't get Joe Ross, he's a mean motherfucker. He is going to scream at you and make you feel like a piece of shit. At the time I was hoping I didn't get assigned Joe Ross as my counselor. As for that Monday, we head into the group where I will be assigned my counselor.

I was smoking a cigarette that I bummed off of Charlie when this intimidating guy approaches

me with a suit on dress to impress. I reach my hand out and he says, Who the fuck are you? With my hands still reaching out, I say, Gerard. But your mother fucking hand down. I'm not shaking your hand. Where are you from and what's your drug of choice? He asked. I responded, New Jersey, and crack cocaine. He left. Perfect. You're in my room. The Lion's Den. I was shook. All the guys over the past weekend said I didn't want to mess my counselor and just my luck. I got him. Looking back it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I answered the Lion's Den, scared. I didn't know what to expect. All I knew was this man was going to scream and yell at me. He definitely did that for about 80 days straight. He broke me. I cried in the lion's den for 80 days straight, no joke. He made me realize the big picture. I wasn't just hurting myself. My family was suffering with me. As I looked back, my family had too many sleepless nights. They were filled with heartache and worry for way too many years. I didn't have enough in me at the time to get sober for myself. Instead I made this about other people. I didn't want anyone to suffer any longer. There was a specific moment that I'll never forget during my stay. I asked him, when does it stop? I was tired of going away. I was tired of getting arrested. I was tired of running and disappearing for days at a time. I was tired of using crack cocaine and heroin. I hated who I was becoming. I'll never forget what he said. He looked at me in my eyes and he started to cry. It'll never stop until you stop. That was it for me. Obviously a lot of work still needed to be done. But I stopped and once I stopped everything else stopped. It was recommended that I enter sober living. I really thought that I was going home. But Joe Ross had other plans. He said you're going to live at sober living, get a job and go to AA meetings every day for a year and stay sober.

If you don't like your life in a year, come back and I'll give you $1,000 and you can go get high again. I did what he said. I got a job at the local supermarket bagging groceries for minimum wage, but I was happy. I did that for about three months until one day I decided to make a fake resume on indeed.com no free ads. I lied and I said I was an electrician and applied to this solar company.

Long story short, I got the interview and I walked into the interview and gave him my license. He asked what I was doing here from New Jersey. I told him the truth was I was sober for about six months living and sober living and I wanted to find a better job. I told him I was willing to work for minimum wage and be one of your hardest workers. He sat back up in his chair and started to tear up. At that point I didn't know what I said that made him have that reaction. With tears in his eyes he said, kid, I just celebrated 25 years sober a few weeks ago. The job is yours. I was shocked. I was in the right place at the right time. God works in mysterious ways. After a few months I saved up enough

money to get my own place with Charlie. We were in the same sober living together as well. Man it was a blast. We cooked together, we went out hiking together, we went to meetings together, we did everything together. Still to this day he is a great friend. I learned a lot while getting sober, I learned how to cook, how to save money, and even how to do laundry. I never did my own laundry before. It's the little things I was beginning to learn

that I really started to enjoy. I hit a year sober, called Joe and told him I'll pass on the $1,000 offer he laughed. I didn't have a life beyond my wildest dreams yet, but I had purpose for once. I felt human again. Me and my family started to communicate more and more. I was in the picture again. We would talk every day, and I don't know how to put it in words, but after every phone call I realized how happy they were again. They got jarrard back. After a few years I moved back to New Jersey. They trusted me again. I landed a great job for one of the biggest utility companies in the country. I busted my ass at that job. It was grueling work, but I enjoyed it. I made a lot of friends there really fast. They thought I was hilarious. That's when I started to make funny videos and started to get some recognition on social media. I didn't understand it at the time but social media is so powerful. Ten months ago I decided to leave that job. It was a really tough decision. After working there for four years I made so many friends and honestly I loved the hard work. A lot of my co-workers really talked me into taking the bar stool gig, especially the old timers. Listen, it's a great job, but at the end of the day really demanding. You work so much you really don't have time for anyone else. I had a son on the way and a lot played into my decision to come to bar stool. So far I'm loving it. I feel like I really fit in well here. I hope the higher ups here could say the same. I think I made the right decision. While working here I started a podcast called Friend of Jerry. I decided the show I wanted to do would be based on addiction and sobriety. The reason I started this show is to bring awareness to the disease of addiction. This is my passion. There have been so many people who have helped me

along my journey too many to name. In the big book it says, helping others is the foundation stone of recovery. I tried to do that with my podcast. At the end of the day, all the hours and episodes that go by, I realized more and more that this is what I was set up to do. If I could help just one person, I did my job. If I could save one person's life, then I accomplished my mission.

If you are struggling, don't hesitate to... have to do. If I could help just one person, I did my job. If I could save one person's

life, then I accomplished my mission. If you are struggling, don't hesitate to reach out. It doesn't have to be to me, it could be to anyone. There is so much help out there and people don't realize it because it isn't talked about enough. Well now it's my job to spread that awareness, normalize us addicts, and give us a voice. Today I have a life beyond my wildest dreams. You know why? Because someone told me, give yourself a chance this time pal. I gave myself a serious chance this time around. I listened to suggestions. I took advice from people who had more time and sobriety than me. Most importantly, I called people when I was struggling. We all have bad days in sobriety, but I make it my business to not pick up no matter what.

That's the club I'm in today, the no matter what club.

I dedicate the seven year anniversary to my son.

You give me more reason to stay sober today.

Daddy loves you more than you know.

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