CC: Reair: EP 100: How to Find Yourself When You Feel Isolated and Lack Self-Esteem with Judy
Life Coaching with Christine Hassler
Christine Hassler
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 11 June 2022
⏱️ 40 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This episode is about being your authentic self and speaking your truth. I coach today's caller, Judy, through her feelings of isolation, and empower her to have an honest conversation with her husband, and herself, about her needs.
Loneliness is an epidemic, especially in this day and age when so many of us live alone. We are not close to our family geographically, or we don't have a soul family or community to be a part of. We need a healing connection. We need to feel part of something, part of a tribe. We need to feel connected to ourselves. What often perpetuates a feeling of loneliness is a disconnection to ourselves that comes from judging ourselves and being hard on ourselves. If you suffer from loneliness or a lack of self-esteem you are not alone. Let the fact that you are not alone motivate you to gain confidence and to connect with a community.
Speaking your truth is when you say what's true for you, and you are able to communicate your needs. When are you not speaking your truth?
Many of us think people pleasing is a way to get love and find validation. We think if people see the real us, they may not like us. The more you show the real you, and the more authentic you are, your relationship with yourself will improve, your self-esteem will improve, and the intimacy and connection you have with other people will also improve.
It's great to make other people happy but it's more important to please ourselves first, by making self-honoring choices. People pleasing could be the reason you are feeling isolated. On some level, people pleasing is draining.
Drop the people pleasing, up your self-esteem by making self-honoring choices and get out there and find your tribe!
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Do you feel isolated? Are you craving more connection?
- Are you in a marriage or relationship where you feel isolated? Do you feel like you are dependent on your partner or you are living according to their dreams and desires more than your own?
- Are you a people pleaser? Do you have a hard time making your needs a priority?
- Do you find it challenging to speak your truth?
Judy's Question:
Judy wants to know how to find herself and how to raise her self-esteem.
Judy's Key Insights and Ahas:
- She has been continuously moving for a year.
- Her husband tries to support her but he doesn't really get it.
- Her husband has a stronger personality than she does.
- She's dependent on her husband and doesn't go places on her own.
- She always puts other people first.
- She has a hard time saying no.
- She takes care of people, hoping it will help to build intimacy.
How to Get Over It and On With It:
- She should be honest and vulnerable with her husband about her feelings.
- She should speak up when she feels she wants to say something.
- She should lean more into authenticity and less into people pleasing.
- She should spend some time on her own engaging with other people.
Takeaways:
- If you are in a relationship with the opposite sex, and would like to improve your masculine/feminine communication dynamics, consider studying the subject more.
- If you are feeling isolated, start with a goal of talking to five new people every day, and then build on that number. Start getting yourself out there and finding your tribe.
- Speak your truth authentically. If you have trouble doing it, join the Inner Circle community. Authenticity is this month's area of focus.
- Communicate your needs to the most important people in your life.
Resources:
Inner Circle Membership Community
@christinehassler on Instagram
Expectation Hangover: Overcoming Disappointment in Work, Love, and Life,
by Christine Hassler
The Queen's Code, by Alison A. Armstrong
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to Coach's Corner. |
| 0:04.3 | So because I'm on maternity leave, we wanted to mix it up on the weekend for you. |
| 0:08.7 | All the Wednesday episodes are fresh coaching calls I pre-recorded before I had the baby. |
| 0:14.0 | And this episode that you're going to hear is an old coaching call that I did several |
| 0:18.5 | years ago that was one of the crowd's favorites. |
| 0:21.6 | So maybe you've heard it, maybe you haven't, maybe it's a good time to relisten to it. |
| 0:25.0 | We can always learn more when we relisten to something as well. |
| 0:28.4 | So I hope you enjoy this coaching episode. |
| 0:31.0 | And I'd like to thank my sponsor for this episode, Organify. |
| 0:34.0 | Today I want to talk to you about their green juice. |
| 0:37.2 | So one of the biggest complaints I've heard about green drinks is that they taste bad. |
| 0:41.9 | Most green drinks taste like you through grass clippings and dirt and too glass of water. |
| 0:46.2 | The good news is, Organify Green is not like that. |
| 0:49.2 | When you take a sip of it, you'll be surprised at how good it tastes without any crap |
| 0:53.4 | all in it. |
| 0:54.6 | It's amazing and refreshing and you don't have to mix a lot of other stuff in it to |
| 0:57.8 | mask the taste. |
| 0:58.8 | It's awesome, just in water. |
| 1:02.0 | So if you want to get the vitamins and minerals you need every day, while not having to necessarily |
| 1:06.7 | eat every single veggie and want it to be cheaper than buying a bunch of organic vegetables |
| 1:11.3 | as well, you can subscribe and save, get all the organic nutrients you need for as low |
| 1:15.3 | as 198 a day or just order what you need when you need it. |
... |
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