I went to the doctor when I was 12 and I remember my doctor asking my mom, like, oh, when

are you going to tell him, and my mom was like, oh, soon, soon, and I was just like, what

are you guys talking about?

Like tell me what, and they were like, oh, nothing, like, we're going to make an appointment

and we're going to come back and we're going to tell you, and I was just like, we'll

tell me right now, like, why are you waiting a month later?

My parents piled all of us into the car, my older sister, my brother, my dad, my mom,

we all drove to my pediatrician and my doctor was just like, you were born without testicles

and we're going to have to put you on testosterone for you to go through puberty.

And then I was like, oh, that's it?

I had a scrotum and I guess, like, I never considered something supposed to be in them.

It seemed to me not as big of a deal as they made it out to me.

Little did I know all of what would happen after that conversation.

Being on testosterone was only the start of it.

This is River Gaio, and today we have their story.

It's about being born with a medical condition that took them years to fully understand.

From KCRW, you're listening to bodies.

I'm Al's in barrencher.

And a heads up, this episode contains suicidal ideation, cursing, and a description of medical trauma.

From an early age, I guess, I sense that I was like a bit of an outsider.

I remember sometimes my mom letting me paint my nails clear.

And this one time specifically, like, my brother was coming into the room.

...