I'm Johnny Smith.

I'm Richard Porter.

And this is Smith and Sniff, a podcast in which two friends talk about cars and many other things.

Well, what about if you had to choose, cars or coffee?

No one...

No one ever brings that up, do they?

So you arrive and then you either you can get out of your car and what go into the coffee shop

and then you're locked in there and you're not allowed to look at cars or talk about them.

Or?

Or you can stay outside, chat about cars, but if you ask for a coffee, you're very aggressively told no.

Yeah, or, there's a good third option, you turn up to the cars and coffee in your car,

but if you have a coffee, you have to walk home.

A bit like if you get drunk and you've driven to the pub, you get your keys taken away,

and you have to just think about what you've done and get a taxi home. But then what happens to your car, is it crushed or is it just kept? And the next event, someone turns up on foot and they go, do you want to coffee? No, I'll have a car, actually, please. And they get given your car, because they chose car, not coffee. Gosh, this is getting, it's immediately got very complicated. I hadn't thought through the mechanics of it. I mean, it's... Do you want a car or do you want a coffee? Yes or no? Well, that's the thing. Sometimes you really want a coffee, but would you give up your car for a cup of coffee? I suppose you could buy like a scrap car and turn up in that

but then it's still going to cost you some money more than a cup of coffee. Oh no, what it could be.

It could be like those phone booths that have turned into the little book clubs in villages.

Yeah. And so that's what cars or coffee becomes. You turn up in a car and it's an exchange system.

You just go, right, I've turned up in my car. It's a lovely Lotus exege. But I do want a coffee,

which means I'm going to give over the keys to my exege for the next couple of weeks.

And someone will borrow it and not drink coffee.

And they've got to give their car up at some point, or they already have.

I don't know because I haven't thought through this fucking system.

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