Hey, this is Anna. I want to let you know that this episode is about and includes

descriptions of intimate partner abuse. If you need them, we have resources at

our website death sex money dot org I think you know it's created a sense of skepticism in me that I didn't have

before I can identify sort of certain patterns and things like I think that I couldn't before, sort of rubbed a little bit

of the sheen off of the world, and I don't, for better or for worse, like it's the person that I've become.

This is death, sex, and money.

You're going to get in here and give me a kiss.

The show from WNYC about the things we think about a lot.

Maybe I should stop paying you.

And need to talk about more.

Do I have to tell you how close we are to plummeting to our deaths?

I'm Anna Sale.

Writer Carmen Maria Machado's latest book is a memoir of a relationship in her 20s, one that she now calls abusive.

When you say like I was abused or like... one that she now calls abusive.

When you say like I was abused or like my ex abused me,

people get very nervous, like there's just like a,

the word creates a lot of anxiety and people

in all kinds of directions, but it's like a useful shorthand when

you're like do you have four hours and do you have one second? Like I can say to you

I could tell you the whole thing or I could just say to you like I was an abusive relationship and like it

sort of encompasses a lot of different experiences and I think it I believe that my experiences

fit into that category.

...