Candy

Shut up a Second

Sanspants Radio

Comedy

4.8 • 535 Ratings

🗓️ 6 April 2016

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In which our heroes avoid the dentist, go hunting for an everlasting gobstopper and eat their body weight in sugar as they discuss candy. We become the star attraction on the circus circuit, send letters to candy suppliers for nefarious reasons and discuss the Cronenberg-esque body horror of slowly turning into candy over a week. Jackson gets annoyed at giant lollypops, Alli finds out what gummy tummy is and Duscher just wants to subtlety put his headphones back on. So join the gang as they get tooth decay and ruin a lot of different kinds of candy for you.Want to help supply Alli with a lifetime supply of fairy floss? Head to http://www.patreon.com/sanspantsradio and for as little as $1 a month, you can help make a difference in her acquiring diabetes.Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression, aged 18 to 30, to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information, or to find out whether you’re eligible to take part, please send an email to base.moodclock@monash.edu

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Sands Pants Radio, a sprig of lemon makes the drink go down. Would you like to help figure out how the human body clock may be related to depression? A study by Monash University is looking for otherwise healthy participants with depression aged 18 to 30 to find out. You will be reimbursed for your time. If you would like more information or to find out whether you're eligible to take part, please send an email to base.moodcloc at monash.edu. That's b-a-s-e-l-o-d-c-k at Monash.edu. The details will be in the show notes. Please enjoy the episode. Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Shut Up a second. I'm Jackson Bailey. I'm Ellie. And I'm Joel Dusha.
0:38.2	Today's topic is candy.
0:41.3	Crank, crunch, crunch, crutch, crutch.
0:43.1	What?
0:43.7	Like Hansel and Gruddle.
0:51.5	Oh, Hansel and Gretel.
0:53.5	What a time. They, that, that house, yeah. Not safe. No. Not structurally sound. Plus, people know. People in the town must know. And she's like, hey, I'd like a candy cane mold for, uh, like a, like a beam. They're like, mm, you eating kids? You a witch? You a witch? You were witch?
1:12.8	You a witch? It sounds like a fucking witch move to me. If you had the ability to lure kids in like a witch, I'm pretty sure you would have the ability to make a hand down.
1:21.1	It seems like a fucked hypothetical.
1:23.2	If you guys had the ability to lure kids into your house, how would you do it?
1:25.9	I'm just asking.
1:26.8	It's not for research. If you had to lure kids into your house, how would you do it? I'm just asking, it's not for research. If you had to lure kids into your house to then eat, what would you use? I wouldn't use gingerbread. No, I wouldn't use gingerbread. Kids hate gingerbread. Video games. You'd be like, hey, come in. It's a video game house. Come in, they'd be like, this doesn't make sense. And then you Put them in the oven. Gassed. One of them cleans your house. One of them gets fat and you consume.
1:47.5	I just gassed to the kids.
1:44.4	That should not have done. come in, they'd be like, this doesn't make sense. And then you put them in the oven. Gassed. One of them cleans your house.
1:46.2	One of them gets fat and you consume.
1:47.5	I just gassed to the kids.
1:48.7	I should not have done that. Whoops. You don't live in a gas house. No, I said, they come in and I was just like, gassed. Wait, no, that's not what I would. Damn it. You're like,
1:56.5	she's got like a new age
1:57.9	luring in kid thing.
2:00.4	Like everyone else is like,
2:01.2	oh no,
2:01.8	bring candy.
	...

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