Canada is burning but we're doing okay

Garrison Keillor's Podcast

Prairie Home Productions

Society & Culture, Fiction, Comedy Fiction, Improv, Comedy

4.8 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 11 November 2023

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I’m not nostalgic about olden times. I love these passwords and PIN numbers that give me the sense of foreign agents trying to get into my email, steal my prescription for metoprolol. I am fond of the GPS woman who gives us directions in such a sympathetic tone, not condescending at all. I adore my laptop and have no warm memories of my Underwood typewriter. Someday I believe the GPS woman may become a therapist and tell me to put regrets behind and prescribe a memory-loss drug that will do exactly that.I do feel that young people are overloaded with electronic stimulation. I worry about the environment and economics. I sat in the Oyster Bar and ate a cheeseburger and overheard two smart guys talking about the banking system in a way that made me queasy and I said to them, “But it’s not as bad as it looks, right?” and one of them said, “No, it’s worse.” I heard about a college history teacher who was asked by a student, “You talked about World War Two, does that mean there was a First?” This was not high school, this was c-o-l-l-i-t-c-h.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit garrisonkeillor.substack.com/subscribe

This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5893629/advertisement

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This episode is brought to you by Pepsi Max.
0:04.0	Christmas is great, but there's loads of ways to make it better.
0:08.0	Laksney can some chili into the gravy for some extra oomps.
0:12.0	Or be within a playlist though, you can even get your none up on the table.
0:16.0	Or just crack an open and ice-cold Pepsi Max.
0:22.0	Christmas. Better with Pepsi Max.
0:25.0	Hey, okay, I promise I'll keep this tea brief short.
0:29.0	So I just had my date with the bumble guy.
0:31.0	So cute. He surprised me with tickets to see this band I love.
0:35.0	Then he got us a spot at the front so I could actually see.
0:37.0	It was amazing, you know? Like, I really felt good vibes.
0:39.0	Oh, and he sent me a, let me know when you get her own message.
0:43.0	That makes him really hot.
0:45.0	Kindness is sexy. Find it on bumble.
0:55.0	I miss the old Fourth of July parade with Uncle Sam striding along on stilts.
1:05.0	And a wagon drawn by Pricharons with a band playing the stars and stripes forever in double time.
1:13.0	But maybe they don't do that anymore. Maybe they ran out of men who could walk on stilts with confidence.
1:21.0	And who fit the Uncle Sam suit because it was a slim fit.
1:25.0	He was not a fat man.
1:27.0	I'm not nostalgic about olden times.
1:31.0	I love these passwords and pin numbers that give me the sense of foreign agents trying to get into my email and steal my prescription for Matoper Law.
1:47.0	I'm fond of the GPS woman who gives us directions in such a sympathetic tone, not condescending at all.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Prairie Home Productions, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Prairie Home Productions and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.