Can You Don't? | Sliding Gloves. Terrorist. Remodel. Ted's Face.
Can You Don't?
Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt
4.3 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2026
⏱️ 90 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I mean... we love a good raccoon penis as much as the next guy, but chopping one of some roadkill in front of your family and claiming it's for research is pretty wild. Let's talk about that, domestic differences when it comes to remodeling your house, why are kids so cool playing sports these days, working with someone all day long who has your semen all over their face, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Sliding gloves. Terrorist. Remodel. Ted's face. you're not my fucking mom |
| 0:23.1 | no you're new daddy oh wow i we're still high |
| 0:27.9 | probably episode 201 my goodness you were fucked yeah yeah i was uh i was as soon as i mean clearly it's still fucked clearly having a rough time while the show was still going uh and i like to apologize for that but afterwards what you guys don't know is zach who embalable, just waltzed out of here. |
| 0:55.0 | Yeah, he's like, oh, I'm good. |
| 0:56.3 | He's like, just another Thursday. |
| 0:58.3 | 10 milligrams. |
| 0:59.5 | Nothing. |
| 0:59.8 | 10 milligrams. |
| 1:00.3 | Like a hundred. |
| 1:01.6 | So he just drove and he's fine. |
| 1:04.9 | Brian was like, I can't drive. |
| 1:07.5 | And I said, I can't be alive. |
| 1:09.1 | You have a Tesla that'll drive for you and I just fell asleep to |
| 1:12.4 | Brian laughing at TV and then I woke up like at 9 30 at night and you were gone and I was |
| 1:20.0 | alive yeah I tried to I you don't remember this but I weird I was like let's just get your |
| 1:25.8 | legs up on the because he was come here oh buddy if you guys know back to future the way Marty McFly wakes up all the time |
| 1:31.9 | with like one arm back in his mouth like oh on the he was on the couch like that but with |
| 1:36.7 | his legs on the ground so all I tried to do is like to get him to just move his body so he's |
| 1:40.9 | laying like a normal human being and I could never fully got |
| 1:44.5 | mouth or something yeah I oh yeah I was so high I got the spins which man I haven't been that |
| 1:50.2 | high since probably high school just so fucking high and I was going through and I was editing |
| 1:55.6 | the episode when did that happen god yeah. Yeah. First edit ever. |
... |
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