Can You Don't? | Prison Pocket. Paid to Jerk. Russia. Moon Base.
Can You Don't?
Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt
4.3 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 3 June 2026
⏱️ 77 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
And to think we've all been masturbating for free this whole time... when we could be getting paid! Let's talk about that, another example of why it's great not to live in Russia, humans have been hiding things in our butts since the beginning of time, the last time you had a five course meal, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Prison Pocket |
| 0:02.0 | Paid to Jerk |
| 0:04.0 | Russia |
| 0:05.0 | Moon Base |
| 0:06.0 | We have like a crazy weather forecast right now like we're not not typical northwest shit |
| 0:31.5 | wants nothing happen i know and that's the thing about weather you know whether or not happen? Yeah, yeah. No, there's parts of this area at the time that we're recording this. We're trying to make sure we get going pretty quick out the gate today. Usually we sit around and fuck off for a bit, warm up because we like being around each other. Fuck each other. And then we have to get, |
| 0:54.8 | excuse me, |
| 0:56.1 | fuck each other's ear holes. |
| 0:57.4 | Oh, fuck. |
| 0:58.0 | You guys are, |
| 0:59.6 | what did I miss out on? |
| 1:06.8 | But they were saying like tornadoes and inch size hail and everything is just saying, |
| 1:09.5 | hey, hey, don't. |
| 1:14.3 | And it's like, I can't, like, don't anything? Don't what? Don't do like, just don't and it's like I can't like don't anything don't what don't do like just don't do it and just fucking sit down I want to see a tornado I mean I don't want it to hit my house |
| 1:20.2 | but I want to see it like watch a like watch an F5 go through the alley but just miss you |
| 1:26.5 | but kill your neighbors. |
| 1:29.9 | That's fun. |
| 1:31.2 | Suck up all the homeless people downtown. |
| 1:33.4 | Jesus Christ. |
| 1:35.2 | Send them into the country. |
| 1:36.1 | Put them back to Seattle. |
| 1:37.9 | Yeah. |
... |
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