Can You Don't? | Baby Half. Ceiling Tile. Bong Dash. Touching.
Can You Don't?
Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt
4.3 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 8 April 2026
⏱️ 73 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We've never thought about it before... but how hard would it be to actually rip a baby in half? Let's talk about that, installing a custom bong into your dash so you never have to stop doing drugs, why are dry ice bombs so goddamn fun, thinking that you're making a lumber delivery but end up screwing some dude's wife in front of him, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Baby half. |
| 0:02.5 | Ceiling tile. |
| 0:03.8 | Bong dash. |
| 0:05.0 | Touching. |
| 0:23.9 | Do we have you all the way back this week? I was trying to get all the cost up. |
| 0:27.6 | But you are, I can hear you. |
| 0:29.4 | Yeah, that's important. |
| 0:30.6 | It's a, not great, but it's better. |
| 0:33.4 | It just sounds like life. |
| 0:36.1 | Yeah. |
| 0:36.4 | It's not great, but it's just getting through. |
| 0:38.0 | Yeah, just doing it. |
| 0:39.3 | Episode 199. |
| 0:41.0 | That's kind of like the ball drops stopping at one. |
| 0:44.8 | Just counting down, bringing in the new year and the ball breaks. |
| 0:48.5 | Just everyone in Times Square is all pumped. |
| 0:50.9 | Yeah. |
| 0:51.3 | And then just stops. |
| 0:53.3 | Power goes out. The fireworks don't explode days go up and then... It just stops. And it just... Power goes out. |
| 0:54.5 | The fireworks don't explode days go up and then fizzle out and fall down. |
| 0:57.6 | And they just fall into this hit a building as a shell. |
| 1:01.2 | Reminder that next week, we are celebrating our 200th episode. |
... |
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