You're on the Bert Show.

All right, Rebecca, let's start this now and then maybe we'll finish it at the end of the show because you've got questions. Yes, I do. So I ask very little of my boyfriend. All he has to do to keep me happy is laugh at everything I say, cook every single meal and be completely obsessed with me. And I don't think that's too much to ask for her. Luckily, my boyfriend knows his role, but today

I want to test the boyfriends of

the Burt Show, and that is Burt

and Messy Mikey. We're going to find out

if you truly deserve your

beautiful, accomplished, intelligent

brunette girlfriends, or if they

deserve better with a game of

bare minimum versus princess treatments

can we already answer that they deserve more without even knowing any of the questions

mike is probably way better than i yeah for sure no you're not and also there's no way this isn't a

trap this is going to it's going to be trouble one way or the other.

Perhaps it was a hypothetical question.

Okay, so here's how the game works.

I have asked my heterosexual homies,

aka the straight ladies of the Burt Show,

to send me examples of bare minimum things they expect

from their romantic partners

versus princess treatment things that are appreciated,

but not expected.

And then I threw their examples away because I didn't like them.

...