I amla your host for this journey. I was a hopeless love a holic but just could not get my love to work.

Then after a series of heartbreaks and deep heartache, I finally got clear about

what love is and what it is not. I want to share some of what I've learned about lover holism.

Welcome to the R spot, a production of Shandaland audio in partnership with I Heart Radio. Grand Rising, I am Yon the Van Zant, your support, your guide, your teacher, your soft place to fall as we explore and examine the details and

intricacies sometime challenges and upsets about relationships, all kinds of relationships. Now I've got a

really interesting show today because I was going through some social media things,

something that I rarely do.

And I saw this post where a woman who had been in relationship

with her partner for six years,

took him to a restaurant.

While he was eating, she got up, got down on one knee,

presented him with a ring, and asked him to marry her.

Well, he was shocked.

The people in the restaurant were totally amused and it brought up something for me. Why can't she ask him to

marry her? Why do we as women think we have to sit around and wait? Now I'm just asking the question.

When I put it out in the public, people were hysterical and I want to say reading is fundamental. I didn't say we should. I didn't say we shouldn't.

I simply ask the question. Why can't she ask him to marry her if that's what she wants to do? You see, because I get all the

weeping wounded women who have spent five, six, seven, ten, twelve years in a relationship,

maybe have two or three children

and after all of that time,

he walks away.

And he has perfect license to do that because they're not married

...