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This series contains adult language and depictions of graphic violence.

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Happy summer everyone.

Like most of you, I'm sure,

I've been thinking about ways to maximize summer enjoyment for my family without breaking the bank and unfortunately for me that usually means camping.

I admit it. I'm not a fan. I prefer sleeping inside. I

prefer eating food prepared in a normal kitchen. I like showering. You know, the basic modern conveniences, but my wife, well, she claims to love camping and wants our kids to feel the same way.

As a result, every summer at least once I have to find the cooler, the

bug spray, the sleeping bags in the tent, pack the car and drive up the coast

to one of California's undeniably beautiful scenic campgrounds, and I mean gorgeous.

We usually stay at one that has campsites right on the beach.

There's also one that, while naturally breathtaking,

includes the added feature of an express freight train

thundering through the site at 445 every morning.

Less wonderful unless you enjoy an adrenaline rush in place of your morning coffee.

But still we go camping.

Most of the time we go in a group with my wife's sister and her family,

so there's eight of us with hardly anything to do,

except sit around a fire and make sure that everything we own

...