Bully Culture, Bible Adventures, and Boogaloo Skunks
The Babylon Bee
Seth Dillon
4.4 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 17 July 2020
⏱️ 69 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This is the Babylon Bee weekly news podcast special episode for 7/17/2020.
In this week’s episode of the Babylon Bee podcast, Kyle and Ethan talk about the week’s big stories like Christian knockoffs of secular products being bad, people on the right side of history who are on the wrong side of God, boogaloo skunks, and how are current culture is just the free market of people's fists meeting other people's faces.
Show Outline
Introduction
Welcome to The Babylon Bee podcast with your hosts Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicolle, the two funnymen behind a lot of the stuff you read on The Babylon Bee. They’re not as funny here as they are when they write satire, so get used to disappointment.
Stuff That’s Good
Stuff that’s good update: Kyle is finishing up Avatar The Last Airbender and it’s amazing
Kyle likes Journey to the Center of the Earth
Ethan likes Blood Father
Weird News
Dog left 'looking like alpaca' after biting pet groomer halfway through haircut
Shopper spotted using paper bag as face covering - and others have used knickers
Family found man declared 'dead' still alive after breaking into hospital morgue
Pizza Shop Owner Thwarts Robbery By Tossing Pie At Suspect
Sealed copy of 'Super Mario Bros.' auctioned for a record $114,000
Mysterious 'vampire-slaying kit' including pistol and knife up for auction
Stories of the Week
Story 1
Man On Right Side Of History Surprised To Find He Still Went To Hell
Summary: A local progressive was very careful to only advocate for the most progressive politics and be an activist for all the popular new social justice causes. So, since he was so clearly on the right side of history, he was very surprised to find after he died that he still went to hell.
Story 2
Summary: Local lunch money thief and wedgie specialist Biff O’Doyle wrote in a recent op-ed that Bully Culture is not real -quote- ‘It’s just my fist’s free-market response to your stupid face, dweeb’ -end quote
tory 3
Here's What's Problematic With Each Of The NFL's 32 Team Names
Well, the PC police have come for the Redskins. But we at The Babylon Bee feel they did not go far enough. There is white supremacy and racism everywhere in the NFL, with every single team in the league having some kind of offensive stereotype in their name.
We hereby call on every team in the league to change their name for the following reasons.
Topic of the Week
Why is Christian stuff so bad?
- Bee article: If You Like Secular Things, Try These Christian Alternatives That Are Almost As Good
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Why is Christian stuff so bad?
Hate Mail
We get a reponse to a sponsored newsletter blast speaking out against antifa and get accused of being Christo-fascists.
Subscriber Portion
- Kyle and Ethan dive into the mailbag!
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Bonus weird news filled with projectile penguin poop
Also mentioned: Ethan Nicolle’s awesome animated music video Lunaractive-Mission To The Moon
To watch or listen to the full podcast, become a subscriber at https://babylonbee.com/plans.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | In a world of fake news, we bring you up to the minute factual inaccuracy and a heavy |
| 0:07.9 | dose of moral truth. |
| 0:11.2 | With your hosts, Kyle Mann and Ethan Nicole. |
| 0:16.7 | This is the Babylon B. Fake News, you can trust. |
| 0:25.5 | Hi everybody, welcome to the Babylon B podcast with your hosts, Kyle Mann, and who's that? |
| 0:29.9 | Oh, hey, it's me, Ethan Nicole, Kyle's sidekick. |
| 0:33.8 | He is the, what's the guy on duck tails? |
| 0:37.8 | I don't know, not a duck tail. |
| 0:38.8 | Launch pad in the quack. |
| 0:39.8 | Yeah, launch pad and the other guy. |
| 0:43.2 | Scrooge McDuck. |
| 0:44.2 | It was, I'm messing this. |
| 0:46.0 | Tailspin, that's what I'm thinking of. |
| 0:47.3 | Blue the bear. |
| 0:48.3 | Yeah, something like that. |
| 0:49.3 | Wait, am I the little kid and you're blue the bear? |
| 0:51.5 | That doesn't make sense. |
| 0:53.8 | Wasn't there a, I thought they had like that car and then there was a sight. |
| 0:56.9 | Oh, maybe I'm thinking a dark wing duck. |
| 0:58.4 | I'm getting all the duck things. |
| 0:59.4 | You're getting the whole Disney afternoon mixed up. |
| 1:02.1 | The whole Disney afternoon is just the swirling mess of the characters in my head. |
... |
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