The Bugle, audio newspaper for a visual world.

Hello, Bugleers, and welcome to issue 4,112 of the Bugle the World's foremost audio chronicle

of all human knowledge and wisdom. I am Bitsy Squiggles. Sorry, sorry. It's not my

grime podcast today. I'm Andy Zoltzman and Lemon Souffle holds no fears for me or indeed

most other people. I'm in London and this is my day off from Cricket duty since I last

bugle that you last week. I've been to six World Cup cricket matches in six days, three

of which actually happened. There were two rained off and one basically rained off other

than half an hour of cricket. Now obviously sport is supposed to be a metaphor for real life.

So watching nothing happen for ages and then leaving a disappointment is not entirely

inappropriate, especially in Cricket as well. They're watching nothing happen for ages.

It's part of the joy of it. The difference being when you're watching nothing happening

for ages with players actually on the pitch, it's the potential that something might happen

that makes the nothing happening so enjoyable. Anyway, we are here in North just filling

it in for non-cricket officiados. We're here. I thought you were describing Brexit.

There's many similarities. We're here in London. It's the 13th of June 2019 and joining

me to fill in the gaps in my knowledge of what's going on in the real world, a huge welcome

back to Tiffany Stevenson. Hello. Hi, Tiff. Have you been enjoying the Cricket World Cup?

Oh, I've been loving it. No. I mean, I lost. I'm mainly interested in Shane Warn. He

doesn't play anymore. He doesn't know. I'm fascinated by his face, which I feel

has had more updates than my iTunes agreement. Every time I see him, he looks different.

So yeah, I'm fascinated by hair loss and cricketing. Right.

Because it seems the more runs a cricket or a school, it's sort of inversely proportionate

...