Dancelaguard fans, you will be thrilled to know a book is coming out if you fund it via Unbound.

We are publishing the Dancelaguard Reader by Alice Fraser and Dancelaguard,

a glorious insight into the world of Dancelaguard, self-published romance maven,

and online bestseller. If you would like to find out how to support it, go to thebugelpodcast.com.

If we get enough support, we will publish the book. That's a real thing that's going to happen.

Thebugelpodcast.com to support the Dancelaguard Reader.

Thebugel Audio Newspaper for a Visual World

Hello, Buglers and welcome to issue 4,017 of the Bugel Audio Newspaper for the most

official of all worlds. For the week beginning Monday, the 20th of February 2017, I am Andy Zoltzman,

I may be 42 years old, but I can bench 670, I can run 10k in 17 minutes, all because my body is

a fine tuned machine. We are in a chef, I may quote someone else. We are in my shed, in South London

this week, it's rectangular in case you are wondering, and I'm joined by someone who is

considerably more adept with words than when I first met her at the age of noughts.

From our radio tobe a sister podcast, the illusionist, it's my actual sister down from the attic

for one day only, Helen Zoltzman. Hello, Andy, thanks for giving me outside privileges for one day only.

Yeah, no one is allowed in this shed, this is my shed, you get your own shed.

I can't, I know, it's a lick. I could put one in the attic, the end of the bed,

the next to the door. You didn't specify what you were benching 670 of.

All right, molecules. Does it tell us what do you bench these days?

Dogs? Do you bench a lot? Plenty benching. Adore a bench.

Maybe it's minutes. A bench 670 minutes is spending 11 hours and 10 minutes.

That's an event. An event. An event.

...