Bryony Gordon: How people pleasing fuelled my OCD, alcoholism, and eating disorder
Happy Place
Fearne Cotton
4.7 • 15.6K Ratings
🗓️ 13 April 2026
⏱️ 60 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You’ve heard of fight or flight, but what about fawn – the idea of appeasing others to stay safe? Author and mental health advocate Bryony Gordon thinks there’s a reason so many women feel under pressure to people please.
In this chat with Fearne, Bryony explores how she feels people pleasing has fuelled parts of her OCD, alcoholism, and eating disorders over the years.
Fearne and Bryony also chat about body image, and both reveal some of the insecurities that have consumed them... that likely no one else has noticed. Bryony reckons feeling ‘too much’ and ‘not enough’ are two sides of the same coin, and offers advice on how to confidently take up space. (Or, as she puts it: “step into your mother*cking majesty!”)
Bryony’s novel, People Pleaser, is out now.
If you liked this episode of Happy Place, you might also like:
Break free from people pleasing
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello and a massive welcome to Happy Place with me Fern Cotton. |
| 0:05.0 | This is the place where others don't have to like you for you to like yourself. |
| 0:10.1 | Today I'm chatting to Briney Gordon. |
| 0:13.0 | This is the truth. I wake up every morning and my brain, like the gobbling king in my brain, is like, |
| 0:18.9 | Briney, everyone hates you. Everything you're supposed to do today |
| 0:22.6 | is going to be a failure and you let down everyone yesterday and you're going to let down everyone |
| 0:30.8 | today. You're disappointing people. You're too much. And there's a coin, right, that we exist on, on either side of. And one side is too much. You're too much and there's a coin, right, that we exist on on either side of. |
| 0:39.3 | And one side is too much, you're too much. |
| 0:42.0 | And the other side is you're not enough. |
| 0:44.3 | And they're basically the same thing. |
| 0:46.2 | You find me once again at my kitchen table, hence the slight echo maybe, |
| 0:50.3 | slightly sort of tinny sound, I don't know. |
| 0:53.1 | I'm at home trying to get through just all the lists and feed the cat and the bloody tortoise. Because, I mean, he's more hard work than the other ones. The cats are pretty easy. They just go about their own business. The tortoise, I've got a bloody hand feed the guy. Not only that, I have to give him a bath every other day. And I'm not getting much back from him, that's for sure. It's a one-way street with that guy. Not only that, I'd give him a bath every other day and I'm not getting much back from him, |
| 1:12.1 | that's for sure. It's a one-way street with that guy. Anyway, I've got laundry to do next. So I'm |
| 1:17.0 | going to crack on with this introduction because this is someone who I absolutely adore. And also |
| 1:23.1 | someone that's been a friend for, I want to say, over a decade now. And she's really helped me out |
| 1:29.7 | in lots of ways as a mate. But my initial introduction to Briney was through her book. So her book |
| 1:37.6 | Mard Girl totally changed my life, actually. That might sound a lot, but it did. It really, |
| 1:44.0 | really did. |
| 1:44.9 | Because she talked about things in a way that helped me eradicate levels of shame that I had about |
| 1:51.7 | stuff and worry and panic. She's just brilliant. I love her. If you don't know much about Briney, |
| 1:57.8 | I mean, I know many of you will, but let me give you a little intro. |
... |
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