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Judge John Hodgman

Brush with the Law

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

World, Show, Complete, Hodgeman, Comedy, Pc, Daily, Hodgman, Mac, More, Expertise, Knowledge, Information

4.87.7K Ratings

🗓️ 7 October 2020

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Sheila files suit against her sister, Elyse. Sheila would like to paint the shed at their parents house. But Elyse doesn’t like the color scheme that Sheila picked out! Sheila says that since it was her idea to paint in the first place, she should get to pick the colors. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm Baylif Jesse Thorne this week. Brush with the law.

0:08.0

Sheila file sued against her sister Elise. Sheila would like to paint the shed at their parents house, but Elise doesn't like the color scheme that Sheila picked out.

0:18.0

Sheila says that since it was her idea to paint in the first place, she should get to pick the colors.

0:24.0

Who's right? Who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents an obscure cultural reference.

0:34.0

Sure, go ahead. Start the podcast. I can't do anything anyways. I'm sick. You know sometimes when you're sick, you don't feel like putting rubber bands in your rubber band ball. You don't feel like doing anything at all!

0:48.0

I'm awfully sorry, Baylif Jesse. You see sometimes when we're sick, we snap at people when we don't mean to. Our emotions are awfully close to the surface. You understand? Don't you?

1:00.0

Sheila and Elise, please rise and raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God or whatever?

1:08.0

I do. I do.

1:10.0

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that his coastal elitist lifestyle permits only enough room for a medium-sized barbecue smoker? And certainly not a shed?

1:22.0

I do. Most certainly.

1:24.0

Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. You understand, don't you? When we're sick at home and we're close together and we're stuck together, emotions are close to the surface right, Jesse? You didn't even answer me.

1:36.0

I couldn't tell whether it was rhetorical. Well, it was part of the quote. Also sometimes I space out while you're talking.

1:46.0

You know what? It's hard when we're stuck together, even when we're a continent apart. There's a lot of togetherness in the world right now.

1:54.0

It's nice to see you over there in Los Angeles. And you, friends. Sheila and Elise, you may be seated wherever you are. It's nice to see you as well.

2:02.0

Oh, and I love Jennifer Marmer. Nice to see you. It's just seeing. It's just this is a podcast about seeing people and being seen now.

2:10.0

Sheila and Elise were an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors. Can either of you name the piece of culture I referenced when I entered the courtroom?

2:18.0

Sheila, let's start with you.

2:20.0

I was so hoping it would be Arthur T. Shed's Jackson that I looked up what episode of Flying Circus it's in, but that's clearly not it.

2:28.0

I'm going to go with a doll's house by Einer Gibson.

2:34.0

Interesting. Yes. Interesting. Yes. I'll enter that into the guest book.

2:40.0

John, what happened to Monty Python nerds anyway? Where are they? Sheila talks about Monty Python nerds stuff anymore.

2:47.0

Like I'm sitting here, God, what's Sheila talking about? What is Marty Tusheds?

...

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