#brunchtalk: How Do You Date Someone Avoidant?

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5 • 877 Ratings

🗓️ 30 April 2023

⏱️ 20 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What happens when you find yourself dating someone who is avoidant? How do you navigate conflict especially when you may be more on the anxious side? In this week’s brunch talk, we’re chatting about how you rectify your differences when you're dating someone, when it's time to work through it or cut ties, and how you can approach relationships from a place of love and growth regardless of your attachment style. Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at [email protected] Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview w/ iHeart Podcasts available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is sponsored by: Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order. Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE is available for pre-order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Meeting People IRL Kickstarter - CLOSES August 31st and get $10 OFF now through then! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi I'm Yui Shoe and I'm Julie Kraftchik. We're active daters turn dating sociologist.
0:05.4	Here to dive into everything modern dating and relationships.
0:08.9	Welcome to the dateable podcast. challenges or do you just want to shoot the shit about dating? We're here for you too.
0:25.0	We'll just sit with you, watch you eat and talk about dating with you.
0:29.6	I do love when people tell us that they'll load this up on Sunday morning and it's like
0:35.1	they're broaching with friends that's what we're here for. We are your
0:38.7	friends and we do love brunch but if you listen to this on any other day where you don't eat brunch that's okay too. You can make this dinner talk, lunch talk, walk talk.
0:48.0	Yeah, you're getting answers to your questions. That's all you need.
0:51.7	The only thing we ask you not to do is to stop listening to us.
0:56.0	Don't ever stop.
0:57.0	Keep playing, do not avoid us, because that is related to our question today.
1:02.0	Oof. Ooh, the question is, how do you date someone who is avoidant?
1:07.8	And for more context, a listener wrote in and said, I'm in a relationship and when it's good it's great but when there is an issue or challenge it's anything but
1:18.4	When we get into fights my partner tends to cold shoulder me and not be able to handle any form of conflict,
1:26.5	often avoiding my texts and calls for days. Is there anything I can do in this situation or is this just the reality of dating in
1:35.1	avoidant? I'm laughing because that is so much of me dating in my 20s and 30s. I am your typical avoidant attachment style.
1:45.9	When there's conflict I will run I will ignore I will hide until we can all pretend
1:51.1	that nothing happened.
1:53.0	So I feel like this person dated me,
1:55.2	but it's obviously not me.
1:57.3	Speaking as a recovering avoidant person,
2:01.2	the thing that triggers me the most when in a conflict is that when I run, like I'm
	...

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