#brunchtalk: Help! Am I coming on too strong?

Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick

Relationships, Sexuality, Science, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Society & Culture

4.5 • 877 Ratings

🗓️ 28 May 2023

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you ever been worried your anxious attachment style sabotages your relationships? In this week’s brunch talk, we’re dissecting what "coming on too strong" even means and how to reframe it. We discuss guidance on how to approach the initial stages of dating, ways to make sure your real self – not your date self – is shining through, and how to be more confident you aren't scaring away the wrong people. Got a question you need answered? Hit us up at [email protected] Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview w/ iHeart Podcasts available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeartRadio, or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode is sponsored by: HelloFresh: Get 16 free meals plus free shipping by going to hellofresh.com/dateable16 and use the code DATEABLE16 Drizly: Download the Drizly app or go to Drizly.com and use promo code FAST5 for $5 off your first order. Dateable is part of the Frolic Podcast Network. You can find more outstanding podcasts to subscribe to at frolic.media/podcasts WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE is available for pre-order now: https://howtobedateable.com/ Meeting People IRL Kickstarter - CLOSES August 31st and get $10 OFF now through then! Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi I'm Yui Shoe and I'm Julie Kraftchik.
0:02.8	We're active daters turn dating sociologist.
0:05.4	Here to dive into everything modern dating and relationships.
0:09.0	Welcome to the dateable podcast.
0:11.0	Hi. podcast. doctors. Dr Love, I'm just gonna.
0:26.0	We're here to diagnose you
0:28.0	and heal your
0:30.0	dating trauma.
0:31.0	Your illness.
0:32.0	Oh gosh, I hope we never have to call ourselves that but that is kind of how we see these
0:38.0	episodes of brunch talk is we're helping you talk through whatever it is that you're going through.
0:43.6	One, make sure you know you're not alone in this,
0:45.9	and two, get a fresh perspective on what's going on your head.
0:49.4	And we love, love, love getting your questions,
0:52.4	especially when they've been left in reviews.
0:55.6	We said that we are going to bump up the ones and reviews and we got one.
0:59.9	So thank you for the five-star review and we're so excited to get to this burning question.
1:05.2	The burning question is in early dating how do I come off not so strong that I scare people off?
1:11.8	In more context. Hello ladies, I'm a 30-year-old woman who needs some guidance in
1:16.8	dating. I think my anxious attachment style sabotages most of my new relationships and I need help with pacing myself. I tend to come on too strong in the beginning and I've realized that most people don't like that.
1:30.0	Can you recommend some guidance on how to approach the first month, two months, etc of
1:35.2	of dating. Spoken like someone who has true anxious attachment style because I
	...

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