Breaking Male Performance Anxiety with Alex Grendi
ManTalks Podcast
Connor Beaton
4.8 • 591 Ratings
🗓️ 25 November 2025
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
I dive deep with Alex Grendi into the realities of performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and the pressure men carry in the bedroom. We unpack how self-worth, porn, and emotional tension affect arousal and sexual confidence. Alex breaks down the psychology behind performance issues and shares practical solutions men can start using immediately. This conversation is honest, raw, and a must listen for any man who wants a healthier relationship with sex.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
00:00 Introduction
00:35 How self-worth affects sex
01:17 Emotional roots of performance issues
02:03 Porn and male conditioning
03:19 Nervous system and arousal
04:34 Porn induced dysfunction
05:37 Unrealistic expectations
07:22 Shame and performance pressure
07:45 Women influenced by porn
08:20 Monetization joke break
10:01 What men really want
12:49 Why men feel pressure
13:12 Saying no to sex
15:18 Handling anxiety during sex
16:53 Belief and awareness
17:36 Pressure when sex is infrequent
18:29 Communication with partners
19:59 Reducing pressure
22:14 In the moment anxiety tools
24:03 Breath control in sex
25:30 Parasympathetic vs sympathetic states
27:38 Arousal pacing and control
29:50 Hyper stimulation from porn
31:44 Self worth and performance links
33:15 Where low self worth comes from
34:45 Perfectionism and pressure
35:16 Support and standards
37:37 Using sex for validation
38:56 Understanding different dysfunctions
41:33 What causes ED in healthy men
43:54 Forcing erections vs allowing
44:30 Emotional litmus test
45:35 Nervous system signals
46:50 Emotional suppression
47:46 Performance with highly attractive partners
48:45 Self-sabotage
49:39 Building sexual confidence
49:58 Rituals and daily practice
53:57 Letting go of control
56:05 Reconnecting to the body
57:48 Sex as meditation
58:29 Romance novels conversation
01:00:20 Where to find Alex
***
Tired of feeling like you're never enough? Build your self-worth with help from this free guide: https://training.mantalks.com/self-worth
Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/
Heard about attachment but don’t know where to start? Try the FREE Ultimate Guide To Attachment
Check out some other free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship
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Mentioned in this episode:
Self Worth
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right, Alex, welcome back to The Man Talk Show. How have you been? Really good. Thank you for having me. |
| 0:12.6 | Yeah, man. Yeah, good stuff. Well, I mean, I think we chatted back in 2024. It was a good conversation. So it's nice to |
| 0:20.2 | to sort of like dive back in and know a lot of life |
| 0:22.7 | has changed. But let's just kick things off, man. How does a man's sense of self-worth impact |
| 0:30.2 | his relationship to sex? And how does a man's sexual performance maybe impact his sense of |
| 0:37.2 | self-worth? Yeah. Well, I can tell you in my work, |
| 0:40.8 | I'm working with men who have performance anxiety in the form of premature ejaculation, erectile |
| 0:47.2 | dysfunction, even delayed ejaculation, and it's affecting them in a very serious way. They're feeling like they can't satisfy their |
| 0:57.0 | partners the way that they want to. They can't provide that type of pleasure that they believe |
| 1:02.9 | that she deserves. And because of that, they feel like less of a man. And it's having a huge |
| 1:10.0 | impact on their self-worth and how they feel about |
| 1:13.2 | themselves. And it starts to creep into all different areas of their life. |
| 1:20.5 | Do you think, I mean, in working with men for so long, do you think there's some primary |
| 1:27.0 | things that we experience |
| 1:30.0 | like emotionally or psychologically that end up becoming sort of precursors to things like |
| 1:36.1 | erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation? Like are there certain subsets of wounds or experiences |
| 1:43.9 | that a man will have gone through that can |
| 1:46.6 | contribute to that? Because I think for a lot of men, they look at ED, they look at, you know, |
| 1:51.1 | premature ejaculation. It's like, oh, this is a physical issue. There's something going on with me |
| 1:54.7 | in my body. But a lot of the times when I've worked with men that have these issues, |
| 1:59.5 | there's a huge psychological |
| 2:01.2 | or emotional component that are showing up within them somatically. |
... |
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