If the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say this was their finest hour.

We stand for Queen, Country and Video Games.

BRB, UK.

Worst teeth. Better accents.

Hello, hello. Indeed, ahoy, hoi-hoi, and happy New Year.

Happy New Year. And welcome back to the first BRB UK of 2014, because it's now 2014, and it's the first time we're doing a show. See, it's a new year. It makes sense, doesn't it? It makes sense. You know where you're at with us, you know? None of the least nonsense that you get from other podcasts. We know what year it is. We know what number show it is, and the things, yes, those.

Showing off how professional we are and then instantly going off the rails.

I think that, yeah, that sums us up well, well done.

Exactly, but another professional thing to do would be to introduce ourselves, and I'm Dan, I'm one of your hosts.

Hello.

Hello.

The man who just can't simply wait to be introduced before he speaks is Tim, say hello. Hello! And the ominously quiet bloke in the corner wearing a stained Mac is Scotsman. Well, hello there, and happy New Year. What happened to the Scotsman? I don't know. Well, you see, it's a Thursday. Oh. I can be Scottish as you want me to be. Well, I'll see how we go. Give us a little accent. The problem was... We haven't bought him a calendar, Dan. That's the problem. I'm going to buy him a Peter Andre calendar. We have to buy him the worst calendar as we can.

Fill them out with Thursdays with the word podcast on every Thursday and send them to them.

That's our homework for this week.

I invite our dear listeners to, on the forum thread for this show, to give a suggestions.

Suggestions for the worst calendar.

Links to, you know, Amazon or something where we can purchase John the worst calendar in the world.

Or one that he'll love.

No, no, no.

Like, I was thinking trains?

No, that could be...

Trains and cats.

...