Boundaries & Marriage: What NOT to Do | Ep. 550

Awesome Marriage Podcast

Dr. Kim Kimberling

Christianity, Relationships, Society & Culture, Religion & Spirituality

4.9 • 813 Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2023

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today we're going to get into what healthy boundaries do and do NOT look like. We will troubleshoot the confusion and frustration that boundaries can bring when they're not working like they should, and tell you what to do about it.

Episode highlights include:

We unpack some reasons you might avoid setting boundaries
Red flags that you are doing boundaries wrong
How to clarify the importance of the issues you discuss
When you have assumed your spouse knows your boundaries

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!

RESOURCES

Learn all about how to set healthy boundaries for your marriage with our Building Better Boundaries For Your Marriage online course. Dr. Kim covers why and how and gives practical tips and examples to help you put them in place.
Our new Boundaries Guide helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
For more information on boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend's book, Boundaries is an immensely helpful time-tested staple.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the awesome marriage podcast, a place for honest conversations and practical advice on how to build an awesome marriage.
0:09.9	I am your podcast producer and co-host, Lindsay Few.
0:13.4	On the show will be our host, Dr. Kim Kimberly.
0:17.0	Dr. Kim is a marriage counselor and has been married for over 50 years. His passion is to help you
0:23.4	strengthen your most intimate relationship. Today on the podcast, we're going to talk about
0:31.8	what healthy boundaries do and don't look like. We want to troubleshoot the confusion and frustration that boundaries
0:39.4	can bring when they're not working like they should and what to do about it. So Dr. Kim,
0:46.1	to start off the conversation, what are some of the reasons that we might be reluctant to
0:50.4	implement boundaries in the first place? I think there can be some anxiety and some
0:54.3	fear in that even, you know, maybe that what if they don't work? Not sure if you can follow
1:01.0	through the consequences. Sometimes it's guilt. Okay, you know, we're not going to go to your
1:06.4	parents over Sunday for lunch and you know that's the best thing for you and your family, but there's
1:12.9	guilt there. And I think people think, am I being selfish? So I think we can self-talk a lot of
1:17.9	negative things in that that just keep us from taking that step because for a lot of people,
1:24.5	it is a big step. You know, if you grew up with boundaries and you grew up with a family that used them in healthy ways, it's probably pretty easy for you, but you're really the exception. Most people didn't go up with knowing how to set healthy boundaries. And so then you've got some things to work through. And, you know, maybe it's a fear of just who that person is and how are we going to take that
1:46.2	or how do I communicate this to them.
1:47.9	So I think a lot of things can go into your, into not doing it.
1:53.0	And yet, that's not, that's probably not helping either.
1:55.6	It's more, okay, I am fearful about this, acknowledging that.
1:58.8	And what do I need to do to set boundaries?
2:02.8	And that's where maybe talking to a pastor or a counselor could really make a difference
2:07.0	before you even take that step.
	...

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