Bottled Things

Shut up a Second

Sanspants Radio

Comedy

4.8 • 535 Ratings

🗓️ 5 July 2017

⏱️ 51 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In which our heroes collect a number of miscellaneous materials, search the surrounding area for somewhere to put them, and finally settle on the humble bottle as we discuss: bottled things. Check out our upcoming lives shows and purchase your tickets for our UK tour right here; http://www.sanspantsradio.com/live/ Want to help support the show?Sanspants+: sanspantsplus.comPatreon: patreon.com/sanspantsradioPodkeep: sanspantsradio.podkeep.comUSB Tapes: audiobooksontape.comMerch: redbubble.com/people/sanspantsradio or teepublic.com/stores/sanspantsradio Want to get in contact with us?Email: sanspantsradio@gmail.com Twitter: twitter.com/sanspantsradio Website: sanspantsradio.comFacebook: facebook.com/SansPantsRadioReddit: reddit.com/r/sanspantsradio Or individually at;Adam: twitter.com/RetroArchetypeJackson: twitter.com/Alldogsaredead

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Sands Pants Radio. Okay, Google.
0:05.1	How's everyone doing? Welcome to this week's episode of Shut Up a Second. I'm Jackson Bailey.
0:10.1	I'm Adam.
0:10.8	And today's topic, you guessed it. It's bottled water.
0:14.5	No. Bottled things.
0:16.6	I'm just water.
0:24.6	Hi. Just water. How long do you reckon you could live your life if you were in a bottle?
0:28.5	How big a bottle do you?
0:29.6	I'm going to say that my life would be over immediately in every sense of the term that matters.
0:34.9	So I'm going to go, no.
0:36.7	You're fed.
0:56.0	Two questions. Given food. Oh, I'm giving food. Wow. Still two questions. There's tubes. First question, how big is the bottle? About you sized. About me sized? There's not a lot of room there, Jack. You get enough room to turn on the spot. Can you dance? Second question. You can dance. If you want to, you can leave your friends behind. Nothing stops you dancing, no matter what.
0:58.1	Your friends don't dance. It's beautiful. They are no friends of mine.
1:01.3	I'm so sorry, I stopped bringing them home.
1:04.6	How do you mean that totalitarian with your friends' friends? Do your friends dance? No, not really.
1:10.3	Not my friends. I know. Yeah, they're my. Living behind, Chuck. I'm scared about your judgmental nature. No, so you're given food. We chuck a hamburger down the neck of the bottle whenever, and we put down like a hose so you can get some water. And you've got enough room to stand up and spin around on the spot. And if you need to lie down, we tip the bottle so you can go to bed. So it's like you're like a ship in a bottle. Yeah, exactly. We were talking about recently. Like if you stay in the same spot for long enough, you die. That's true. But if you move around, you're probably all right. Oh, God, I get soft feet. Glass is not soft.
1:45.0	Ah, that's true. What if we put a cushion down the bottom of the bottle for your feet?
1:48.0	Is the bottle clear?
1:49.0	Yeah, we can look at you. We're doing it for a test.
1:52.0	We want to know what's going on.
1:56.0	What?
1:57.0	I've been given a lot of money by some shady organizations to test how this is going to go down.
	...

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