Botox for My Butthole | After Hours With Amanda Ep. 36

After Hours With Amanda

Kids & Family, Parenting

5.0 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 24 January 2023

⏱️ 73 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of After Hours With Amanda, I’m sharing where I have been for the last four months. This is my personal medical story, not medical advice, about an anal fissure, chronic pain, health anxiety, food fear, advocating for myself, and finally being believed. It is vulnerable, chaotic, and yes, somehow includes the phrase “Botox for my butthole.” I talk about pain, surgery, motherhood, faith, asking for help, and what it felt like to have life stop long enough for me to see how much control I was trying to carry. If you are in something life altering, I hope you feel less alone here.

00:00 Filming the Podcast and Feeling Awkward
01:36 Welcome Back After Four Months
02:18 Trigger Warnings and Why I’m Sharing
03:35 When I Thought It Was Hemorrhoids
04:49 Years of GI Issues and Bathroom Shame
07:19 Suppositories, Burning, and Things Getting Worse
08:26 The Night the Pain Took Over
11:51 Getting Diagnosed With an Anal Fissure
14:53 Creams, Pain, and No Clear Answers
17:15 Fiber Counting and Food Fear
20:14 The 50/50 Phone Call
23:24 Spasms, Baths, and Losing Weight
26:22 The Light Leaving My Eyes
28:02 Disneyland in Survival Mode
35:13 The Appointment I Thought Would Fix Everything
36:11 A Triggering Medical Exam
40:14 Needing a Female Surgeon
44:10 Fighting Insurance and Feeling Unheard
50:18 Advocating for Myself Like I Would for My Girls
52:42 Finally Getting the Appointment
55:01 Being Believed Without Explaining Everything
56:14 Surgery, Botox, and Finally No Pain
01:02:25 Why Validation Matters
01:03:30 Faith, Anger, and Feeling Deserted
01:04:34 Motherhood, Control, and Missing Christmas Programs
01:08:09 Finding Joy in the Small Things
01:09:20 Water, Fiber, and Food Exposure
01:11:27 Life Altering, Not Life Threatening
01:12:45 Final Encouragement

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is going to be weird because I, well, okay, it's been, how long has it been?
0:07.8	It's been a hot minute.
0:08.7	It's been a hot minute.
0:10.6	I didn't even look at the last time there was a podcast.
0:12.8	It's probably been five months.
0:14.6	And I've been being, I have my security blanket, by the way, because as much as I love making videos sitting here
0:23.5	and podcasting while filming has a different vibe to it. It just does. It just does. But
0:30.9	2023, we're branching out and you would not believe how out of my comfort sound this is right now.
0:37.3	So if a ping goes off on my phone or if the sound is weird on my video, I'm literally doing,
0:43.3	I am, what am I doing? I'm doing my best. I'm doing my best, okay? And after the last four
0:49.3	and a half months, oh, I'm getting sweaty pits, you guys, like I need this blanket. It's more
0:53.3	just like for myself security i'm
0:56.1	going to be clutching it for most of the episode so we're doing it we're going to do a podcast where we
1:01.8	filmed this is not where it's going to be because i bought this really cool sign okay i bought this
1:05.5	sign that i was like imagining but i haven't got it hung up yet because my dad agreed to stay an extra week.
1:12.0	Mental health purposes.
1:13.5	I wanted my dad here.
1:16.4	And so the room where I'm going to be recording with the sign is where his stuff is right now.
1:22.2	So no cool sign today, but just me and catching you up on the last four months. And I have to give you
1:29.0	like welcome if you're new to the After Hours with Amanda podcast. If this is your first episode,
1:35.6	boo, it's going to be, it's going to be real one. It's going to be real one because we are going to
1:40.3	talk about like something that's considered very taboo, but I just feel like the last
	...

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