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The Distraction: A Defector Podcast

Born Aloft on a Cloud of Dad Energy with Patrick Wyman

The Distraction: A Defector Podcast

Defector Media

Sports, Society & Culture

4.42.5K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Drew and Roth are joined by Patrick Wyman, author of the upcoming book Lost Worlds: How Humans Tried, Failed, Succeeded, and Built Our World and creator and host of the new podcast Past Lives! They ask Patrick how our present compares to the past, and why everyone in the White House has terrible form. Then, they pick favorites for the AFC and NFC title games and open up the funbag to answer real questions from real listeners!

Do you want to hear your question answered on the pod? Well, give us a call at 909-726-3720. That is 909-PANERA-0!


Stuff We Talked About

  • MAGA dads
  • We’re gooners, too!
  • Stalin a snack..?
  • Deviations from the norm
  • Porn character actors


Sponsors

- Raycon, where you can get 20% off sitewide


Credits

- Hosts: Drew Magary & David Roth

- Producer: Brandon Grugle

- Editor: Mischa Stanton

- Production Services & Ads: Multitude Podcasts

- Subscribe to Defector!


About The Show

The Distraction is Defector's flagship podcast about sports (and movies, and art, and sandwiches, and certain coastal states) from longtime writers Drew Magary and David Roth. Every week, Drew and Roth tackle subjects, both serious and impossibly stupid, with a parade of guests from around the world of sports and media joining in the fun! Roth and Drew also field Funbag questions from Defector readers, answer listener voicemails, and get upset about the number of people who use speakerphone while in a public bathroom stall. This is a show where everything matters, because everyone could use a Distraction. Head to defector.com for more info.

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

We're back. We're back. It's a distraction. I'm Drew. That's Rod. Are you doing Roth? I'm good, man. How are you? I mean, well, actually, let me, let me take that again. Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm all right. I don't want to, I don't want to overstate anything. You want to set a reasonable baseline. Wait, wait. So you wanted to do a retake just no, not really, not really. Just so you could add like 0.5% more enthusiasm.

0:23.0

I want to do amend.

0:23.2

I want to do a retake just so you could... Not really. Not really. Just so you could add like 0.5% more enthusiasm?

0:22.8

I want to do amend.

0:23.6

I want to amend my answer.

0:28.7

Listen, the resting response since what, 2020 has basically been, all things considered I'm all right.

0:37.1

That's like stock. You know,

0:39.2

that's my little prefatory qualifiers before I answer really basic questions. That's just,

0:44.4

and people love hearing them. The parentheses gestures towards everything meme has, you know,

0:49.6

it's spiraled far out of our control. So we have to figure out a way to correct this.

0:55.4

And to help our guest this week is Tides of History co-host

0:59.2

and world's strongest historian, Patrick Wyman,

1:02.9

who joins us while wearing the Pat McAfee signature black tank top.

1:09.1

Are you doing, Patrick?

1:10.2

I'm doing fantastic. You know, just given some of the subject matter that we're planning on covering today, I had to literally flex on them. And so, yeah, it just, it felt like, you know, there are times to deviate from the brand and there are times not to. This felt like a time not to deviate. Yeah, you don't need to be wearing a turtleneck for this one. I want, I want you doing box jumps and, like, weird rope-related exercises while we're recording. I was going to say, you should be broadcasting from a squat rack, and you should have, like, Jalen Hertz amount of weight across your shoulders, and then you would really be in care. You'd really be ready to step up to the lazy Nazi scum currently running over this. I mean, look, I would be lying if I said I hadn't recently bought a punching bag. First of all, because I got to sharpen up. I'm rusty as hell and I'm old, number one. I had an incident with some Magadads at my kid's soccer game. Oh, shit. Yeah. Like, the vibes are not good right now. Wait, wait. Can you tell us about this incident? Yeah. So there were two dads with their obnoxious, like 12 or 13 year old sons. Their two sons were like throwing a football back and forth over the goal as the game was going while my buddy's son was in there. It was his first time. This is a 9 to 10 year old soccer game. The kid's dad,

2:21.5

who's my friend, asked these two kids to politely stop throwing the football over the field

2:26.1

while the game was going on. They started talking immense amounts of full grown man shit.

2:31.3

Like the 12 year olds did?

2:32.3

Yes, the 12 year olds did, which their dad's thought was hilarious. At one point, they said, and I quote, you look like the kind of guy who jerks off to anime porn. The kids said this? The kids said this to the grown man. Kids are into anime, though, and they do jerk off. So I don't see it being that yeah maybe they were trying to

2:52.3

build a bridge yeah like we're gooners too yeah so like i understand what you're mad about

2:58.9

what part of the country are we talking about here this is the arizona suburbs oh yeah so all of this

3:03.3

tracks like none of this is surprising to be clear but yeah so i so my buddy was getting into it with the two kids' dads, and I walked over and I stepped in between. And these guys were just fucking ready to go, screaming about how I'm not the guy, you don't want this. I'm like, no, you're right. I don't. It's a nine to 10 year old soccer game. I'm going to fight you at a nine to 10 year old old soccer game. Were there any officials at this game? Were there any? Yes, they wanted nothing to do with it. Yeah, I'm assuming the officials were like 15 years old. They were, yes. Yeah. And even though I know in Arizona, soccer officials are allowed to carry a sidearm. I still feel like it's not. It's mandatory. Yeah, you're actually required. Well, so this was the part that really messed me up because, like, we managed to avoid any sort of violence breaking out at the game. But as I got in the car afterwards, I was like, oh, yeah, one of those two guys was definitely strapped. Like, there's absolutely zero chance that two mega guys in Arizona, like one of them was not at least concealed carrying. And if they didn't... Why would they step to you if they weren't armed?

...

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