BONUS: “Wet the baby’s head”
Never Have I Ever with Joel Dommett & Hannah Cooper
Global
4.7 • 574 Ratings
🗓️ 22 April 2026
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
This might be the last episode of the podcast before the baby arrives, at which point Hannah and Joel will be a little busy... so they certainly made the most of this one!
Hannah details the specific Five Guys order she wants delivered to her in hospital, post-birth (which sounds like it'll be followed relatively swiftly by vino with the girls) - hope you were taking notes Joel!
We also discover the origins of the phrase “wet the baby’s head”, historically used as an excuse for men to get on the lash after 9 long months of watching their wives create a human child. Again, hope you were paying attention Mr Dommett!
Email: Hello@NeverEverPod.com
Instagram: @NeverEverPod
TikTok: @nevereverpod
This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the neighbourhood, a new community where everyone keeps an eye out for each other. Obviously my instant coffee's not good enough for you. I just want to make friends. In this neighbourhood, it's lawnmowers at dawn, as six real households backlit out for a quarter of a million pounds in this street-sized family feud. 250 grand. We are willing to do whatever it takes. Scout scales are destined for greatness. |
| 0:21.4 | Join me, Graham Norton, as I bring the drama to your doorstep in a new show like no other. |
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| 1:02.4 | This is a global player original podcast. |
| 1:06.0 | You're not having our child on your three-day old chest hair. |
| 1:09.9 | Your shampoo and condition. Yeah, but they need my dirt. You've not showered for three days, and you want to do skin to skin with our newborn child. They've got to, like, wipe blood off stuff, and they think I'm worried about the distant smell of a cheeseburger. I think there's worse smells than that. Someone said to me, Joel, do you want to go wet the baby's head? |
| 1:29.0 | I'd be like, this is not something I want to be involved in. |
| 1:32.4 | That sounds fucking weird. |
| 1:39.7 | Hello and welcome back. |
| 1:42.0 | Sorry, guys, just texting Camel and Gianni, famous Hollywood actors. |
| 1:45.2 | Sorry to just, uh, I just, just texting, just texting someone really famous guys. |
... |
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